Wild can only win by mugging and being cheap

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Mr. McTabish
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Wild can only win by mugging and being cheap

Post by Mr. McTabish » Tue Apr 15, 2008 5:55 pm

I thought you guys who haven't heard about this article would find it amusing.
__________________________________________________________

Ugly Betty hockey in Colorado's future
By Mark Kiszla
The Denver Post

Let the mugging begin.

It's the only way the Minnesota Wild can win.

To advance in the NHL playoffs, the Avalanche must embrace the darkness. When playing this goon-it- up Wild bunch, hockey is a no-holds- barred battle of attrition, not skill.

The only good thing that can be said about Minnesota's 3-2 overtime victory against Colorado was the game lasted so deep into the night that it ended past the bedtime of most kids who could be frightened by the way the Wild mauls all the beauty from the sport.

In a long playoff series, this is the Wild motto: If you can't beat 'em, break 'em.

"You hope to wear down the opposition," Minnesota mauler Aaron Voros said Monday.

"By Games 4, 5 or 6, those bumps and bruises start to add up."

Minnesota, the land of 10,000 dead car batteries, has an inferiority about this hockey team. The Wild's style of play is as ugly and obnoxious as the uniforms, which look as if designed by a toddler who randomly pulled two crayons from the box of 64 and began scribbling.

This hard truth makes the Wild faithful grumpier than they are after waking up to yet another subzero morning. But why deny what makes the team so successful?

It figures. On a play that could have ended on an icing call, a weird, lucky bounce instead allowed the winning goal to be scored by Minnesota's Pierre-Marc Bouchard almost 12 minutes deep into the extra period. The Wild likes overtime, because it gives these grunts more time to knock the spirit from you with every cheap shot.

When Avs forward Peter Forsberg turns his back, even for a second, he will get jumped and roughed up, in true back-alley fashion, by some Minnesota mugger.

Or did you miss the assault on Forsberg during the second period by Wild defenseman Sean Hill, who owns the dubious distinction of being the first NHL player suspended from the league for steroids?

If Colorado goalie Jose Theodore makes too many brilliant saves, the Wild response is not to create traffic in front of the net, but cause a train wreck.

And maybe that explains why Voros felt it necessary to tackle Theodore in the most crass act of Game 3.

That the Avalanche put 46 shots on goal ultimately made no difference, because the Wild put more hard hits on Colorado.

Minnesota coach Jacques Lemaire, mean enough to chew the glass surrounding the rink, has an unabashed fondness for tough guys. The more the scarier.

You've got to hate watching the Wild play, but love the way Lemaire refuses to give an inch of open ice. The never-surrender attitude of his team must be born in the cold recesses of Lemaire's heart.

The dark hockey arts are practiced by every member of the Wild. Even a player as remarkably talented as Minnesota center Mikko Koivu is not adverse to hacking and tripping when Colorado's Ryan Smyth is carrying the puck on goal.

Every videotape of a Minnesota game is film noir, packed with the moral ambiguity of doing whatever it takes and never apologizing.

Anywhere the Wild goes, flowers wilt, the sky turns gray and beauty dies.

After three games, can there be any doubt?

This series is doomed to be a bloody mess.

"I think we're playing pretty physical," Avalanche defenseman Adam Foote said.

And a serious question is how long Forsberg, whose banged-up body has been an injury waiting to happen for years, can hold up to the relentless battering he receives on every shift.

"I don't try to look at the number before I make a hit," Voros said. "Sometimes, it looks that way because Forsberg has possession of the puck so much."

When scores are certain to be scarce and the mugging is beyond the control of any referee, what's the lone goal for the Avs now?

Be the last men standing, and live to play something that resembles beautiful hockey another day.

Mark Kiszla: 303-954-1053 or mkiszla@denverpost.com

http://www.denverpost.com/sports/ci_8927475

sachishi4
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Location: SLP

Post by sachishi4 » Tue Apr 15, 2008 5:59 pm

yea, his email is getting spammed around the internet.
State ‘83, ‘91, ‘08, ‘20

toepull7
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Post by toepull7 » Tue Apr 15, 2008 6:06 pm

They ripped this article and had a good laugh on PA and Dubay today.....Thought it also kind of funny that this is the same way Anaheim played last year and imagine that......they won the Stanley Cup!

ap4mvp
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Location: Snowmobiling

Post by ap4mvp » Tue Apr 15, 2008 6:44 pm

I guess Mr. Mark Kiszla only saw half the game last night :lol:
If you only knew the power of the dark side!

DMom
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Joined: Mon Dec 17, 2007 6:46 am

Post by DMom » Thu Apr 17, 2008 8:59 am

the worst thing is that he ripped off his own writing from 2003, he just changed the names:

The Denver Post

April 13, 2003 Sunday 1ST EDITION

Ugly truth is Wild no match for Avs

BYLINE: Mark Kiszla

SECTION: SPORTS; Pg. C-01

LENGTH: 734 words



After watching the hideous Minnesota Wild for two games, you don't know whether to spit or take a shower.

Minnesota, whose red-and-green uniforms must have been inspired by those gauche folks who leave up their Christmas lights all year, ranks No. 1 in the NHL in only one department. This has to be the worst dressed team in hockey.

And the Wild plays even uglier than it looks. This motley crew does not try to win so much as it hopes to frustrate the opposition into losing. Minnesota is as good an argument as any for contracting the playoffs.


After two playoff games, the Avs can barely hide their Wild contempt for this nuisance. And can anybody really blame them?

Colorado defenseman Adam Foote was asked how much difference in talent exists between a higher-seeded team such as the Avs and these gritty little muckers who wipe their snotty noses on Wild sweaters. He replied: 'I could get myself in a lot of trouble if I told you the truth. So I'll just be politically correct. I could get in a lot of trouble if I said what I really wanted to say.'

But Foote, you and I all know the ugly truth. Minnesota does not belong on the same ice as the Avalanche.

After losing the postseason opener, Colorado beat the Wild 3-2 on Saturday afternoon. Order was restored, and 18,007 fans at the Pepsi Center went home happy. It is again safe for Avalanche coach Tony Granato to exhale.

As it turns out, maybe Minnesota goalie Dwayne Roloson is not to be confused with Ken Dryden. Whenever defensemen Willie Mitchell or Filip Kuba tried to rattle Colorado center Peter Forsberg with tactics that would make a pro rasslin' thug blush, the Wild was reduced to the same old cheap tricks that have not worked for years.

The Wild is a hockey team that tries to goad you into doing something stupid. Minnesota lives for the dumb turnover, the odd-man rush, the penalty of frustration and the soft goal.

'I think the main thing about this series is for us not to get frustrated,' Foote said.

Dumb, inexplicable things occur every day in the NHL playoffs. Stuff happens. How else to explain how the defending champion Red Wings have gotten themselves down 2-0 against Anaheim in the opening round? It must be particularly depressing to be a resident of Hockeytown today. Sure, Detroit started its quest for the Cup from a similar hole a year ago. But that's not the recommended route to take.

'It's tough when you lose your first game of the playoffs. So it was real important to win this one. We didn't want to go to Minnesota down 2-0. We got the split. After losing the first game, we couldn't do any better,' Forsberg said.

The hockey postseason is so long and so filled with bruises that it's humanly impossible for any team to be at its best from start to finish. So the key to winning an NHL championship is to somehow avoid eliminating yourself with your own inevitable mistakes, and to find a way to win when you're not at your best. That theory was reinforced Saturday, when the decisive goal was scored by Avalanche journeyman Brian Willsie, who will get no closer to the Hall of Fame than dressing alongside Joe Sakic and Rob Blake in the Colorado room.

The Avalanche stunk in Game 1. Colorado was mediocre at best in Game 2. Minnesota's best hope is to pray the Avs never find their 'A' game.

The Wild is taking their unsightly uniforms and low-rent players back to Minnesota, where somebody actually likes them. Much will be made of how many decibels the natives in the Twin Cities can generate for their mangy underdogs. Big deal.

'The noisier the better,' Sakic said. 'We don't want a quiet building.'

After surviving a self-proclaimed shaky start, in which Colorado's Patrick Roy gave up a goal by Wes Walz on the first shot that Minnesota managed, the Avalanche is relieved but not satisfied with evening this best-of-seven series at a victory apiece.

'If we're satisfied with that, I don't think we're headed in the right direction,' Roy said.

From Tampa Bay to Vancouver, there are nervous puckheads worrying if the postseason of the local team will end in a premature elimination.

But the Avalanche losing a playoff series to Minnesota? C'mon.

Don't be stupid.

D M
Joined: Apr 15
Points: 220 Posted by D M (aka hockey)
at 12:57 AM on Tuesday Apr 15

boblee
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post 10312

Post by boblee » Thu Apr 17, 2008 11:54 am

It's funny that the Wild go on to the Western Conference finals against the Ducks, the other team he rips on in the article. Time to take it to the Avs in game 5.

fivehole628
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Re: post 10312

Post by fivehole628 » Fri Apr 18, 2008 12:12 am

boblee wrote:It's funny that the Wild go on to the Western Conference finals against the Ducks, the other team he rips on in the article. Time to take it to the Avs in game 5.
We lost... DAM IT!!!

UpNorthStars
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Post by UpNorthStars » Fri Apr 18, 2008 2:41 pm

It was just a shame that the Wild went out and proved the idiot right in game 4... :oops:

Reggie
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Post by Reggie » Sun Apr 20, 2008 12:58 am

Isn't that why the wild pickup Chris Simon, I'm pretty sure it wasn't to score goals.

DmanDad1980
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Post by DmanDad1980 » Sun Apr 20, 2008 10:54 am

Reggie wrote:Isn't that why the wild pickup Chris Simon, I'm pretty sure it wasn't to score goals.
Gaborik getting run, Bouchard getting run, Demitra getting run...

I'm pretty sure it was a move to protect our skill players, to open the ice more for them to perform their skills...

Too bad we don't have the number of "skill players" other teams do, or ones that show up :!:

Reggie
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Post by Reggie » Sun Apr 20, 2008 2:04 pm

DmanDad1980 wrote:
Reggie wrote:Isn't that why the wild pickup Chris Simon, I'm pretty sure it wasn't to score goals.
Gaborik getting run, Bouchard getting run, Demitra getting run...

I'm pretty sure it was a move to protect our skill players, to open the ice more for them to perform their skills...

Too bad we don't have the number of "skill players" other teams do, or ones that show up :!:
The wild allready had Boogie, Fedorek, and Voros! Simon bearly (sp) even played, the only thing he protected was his coffee in the pressbox!

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