AAA Hockey and Young Girl Beauty Pageants

Discussion of Minnesota Youth Hockey

Moderators: Mitch Hawker, east hockey, karl(east)

Post Reply
Offthedeepend
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Jun 24, 2010 10:32 am

AAA Hockey and Young Girl Beauty Pageants

Post by Offthedeepend » Thu Jun 24, 2010 10:58 am

After spending five days in the beautiful city of Winnipeg and getting a chance to watch some very good hockey across many different age levels I began to wonder if the people that are on the "outside" of AAA hockey looking in consider this just another version of Youth Beauty Pageants. I must admit that whenever I see those exposes on TV covering the lunacy that is the Youth Beauty Pageant I scoff at it and say what a bunch of nut-jobs but this past week make me take a step back and wonder if AAA hockey is the boy's version of the Youth Beauty Pageant. The younger the player the more bizarre the environment.

For me, my son and daughter really enjoy their summer hockey (as do my wife and I) so I am not condoning it but just wondering if we, collectively, have gone a little nuts. See the article below are determine if you think inserting AAA hockey terminology/scenarios instead of youth pageants would read the exact same way.



Youth beauty pageants: beautiful children, ugly parents

Andrea Eubanks, Staff Writer

The young girl smiles, trying to exude a strong “stage presence.” The young girl looks giddily confused. She has just been asked by an interviewer what she thinks about beauty pageants. You can almost hear the echoes of her mother, countless pageant coordinators, other little girls and their mothers as the wheels turn in her head while she nervously grasps for what she believes is the “right” answer, the answer the interviewer wants to hear. The camera closes in on her face. “It’s about having fun and doing your best,” she manages to get out, smiling brightly at the camera afterwards.

This is the same little girl who, hours before, fled off the pageant stage in tears, unable to continue her performance for the judges, all while her mother watched from the side with frustrated, disappointed eyes.

I am sure that this scene is not familiar to every young beauty pageant contestant and her family. However, judging from A&E’s Investigative Reports show documenting beauty pageants for young girls 14 years old and under, this is not an entirely uncommon scene. I have never thought much about these pageants until I saw this rather enlightening program that documented the trials and tribulations of most young beauty pageant contestants. Watching this program got me thinking quite a bit about the kinds of values and mannerisms these kinds of activities induce in their participants, and how they relate to a woman’s role in society now.

These pageants put unnecessary stresses on young girls that are only magnified by mothers who act as though they would rather be the ones out there performing. Many children learn to dread the competitions because, God knows, according to their mothers, they could get it right where their daughters could not. One little girl’s mother from the documentary said, after the pageant was over, that her daughter could “care less” about the pageant.

I wonder, then, how the little girl came to be a contestant in the pageant. This show did not cast the mothers of the participants in a favorable light. They were shown standing in cliquish little groups, eyeing their onstage daughters like hawks, looking for mistakes, and making comments like “She’s singing too fast...” and “She forgot to do that one thing....” The mothers mouth along with their daughters’ performances, they know the routines better than their children and are not afraid to flex this information in their daughters’ presence.

These are the same mothers who say, when the camera is trained more directly on them, that the pageants are not about competition, but rather about “doing your best,” and “trying your hardest.” These are the same mothers whose language has to be censored because of explicatives after their daughters lose. These are the same mothers who believe that they are doing the right thing for their daughter, while their little girls stand dutifully beside them with their sickly smiles plastered to their sickly faces. Is filling their young eyes with tears of rejection really the “right thing” to do for these children?

It bothers me that many young girls are forced to judge their self-worth from experiences such as these. It’s hard enough sometimes for anyone, male or female, to accept and love themselves as they are in today’s world. People are bombarded from day one about how other people think they should look, act, think, or feel. These pageants seem to be the highest form of literally judging a person’s worth. Sadly, their judgments are almost always terribly misguided and are based on all the wrong things.

High Off The Glass
Posts: 188
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2009 9:50 am

Re: AAA Hockey and Young Girl Beauty Pageants

Post by High Off The Glass » Thu Jun 24, 2010 11:20 am

Offthedeepend wrote:After spending five days in the beautiful city of Winnipeg and getting a chance to watch some very good hockey across many different age levels I began to wonder if the people that are on the "outside" of AAA hockey looking in consider this just another version of Youth Beauty Pageants. I must admit that whenever I see those exposes on TV covering the lunacy that is the Youth Beauty Pageant I scoff at it and say what a bunch of nut-jobs but this past week make me take a step back and wonder if AAA hockey is the boy's version of the Youth Beauty Pageant. The younger the player the more bizarre the environment.

For me, my son and daughter really enjoy their summer hockey (as do my wife and I) so I am not condoning it but just wondering if we, collectively, have gone a little nuts. See the article below are determine if you think inserting AAA hockey terminology/scenarios instead of youth pageants would read the exact same way.



Youth beauty pageants: beautiful children, ugly parents

Andrea Eubanks, Staff Writer

The young girl smiles, trying to exude a strong “stage presence.” The young girl looks giddily confused. She has just been asked by an interviewer what she thinks about beauty pageants. You can almost hear the echoes of her mother, countless pageant coordinators, other little girls and their mothers as the wheels turn in her head while she nervously grasps for what she believes is the “right” answer, the answer the interviewer wants to hear. The camera closes in on her face. “It’s about having fun and doing your best,” she manages to get out, smiling brightly at the camera afterwards.

This is the same little girl who, hours before, fled off the pageant stage in tears, unable to continue her performance for the judges, all while her mother watched from the side with frustrated, disappointed eyes.

I am sure that this scene is not familiar to every young beauty pageant contestant and her family. However, judging from A&E’s Investigative Reports show documenting beauty pageants for young girls 14 years old and under, this is not an entirely uncommon scene. I have never thought much about these pageants until I saw this rather enlightening program that documented the trials and tribulations of most young beauty pageant contestants. Watching this program got me thinking quite a bit about the kinds of values and mannerisms these kinds of activities induce in their participants, and how they relate to a woman’s role in society now.

These pageants put unnecessary stresses on young girls that are only magnified by mothers who act as though they would rather be the ones out there performing. Many children learn to dread the competitions because, God knows, according to their mothers, they could get it right where their daughters could not. One little girl’s mother from the documentary said, after the pageant was over, that her daughter could “care less” about the pageant.

I wonder, then, how the little girl came to be a contestant in the pageant. This show did not cast the mothers of the participants in a favorable light. They were shown standing in cliquish little groups, eyeing their onstage daughters like hawks, looking for mistakes, and making comments like “She’s singing too fast...” and “She forgot to do that one thing....” The mothers mouth along with their daughters’ performances, they know the routines better than their children and are not afraid to flex this information in their daughters’ presence.

These are the same mothers who say, when the camera is trained more directly on them, that the pageants are not about competition, but rather about “doing your best,” and “trying your hardest.” These are the same mothers whose language has to be censored because of explicatives after their daughters lose. These are the same mothers who believe that they are doing the right thing for their daughter, while their little girls stand dutifully beside them with their sickly smiles plastered to their sickly faces. Is filling their young eyes with tears of rejection really the “right thing” to do for these children?

It bothers me that many young girls are forced to judge their self-worth from experiences such as these. It’s hard enough sometimes for anyone, male or female, to accept and love themselves as they are in today’s world. People are bombarded from day one about how other people think they should look, act, think, or feel. These pageants seem to be the highest form of literally judging a person’s worth. Sadly, their judgments are almost always terribly misguided and are based on all the wrong things.


:shock:

O-townClown
Posts: 4041
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 12:22 pm
Location: Typical homeboy from the O-Town

pageants

Post by O-townClown » Thu Jun 24, 2010 12:15 pm

Kids like to play hockey. My 8-year-old's mini-tantrum last night was because I didn't let him to yet another camp and yet another clinic. I'm sure different families participate in summer hockey programs for different reasons. For us, my son seldom sees other good players. Most teams here have just one or two. To go to Boston twice and be on a team where everyone is experienced was fun for everyone - him, us, them.

The problems with it probably arise from parents who are looking ahead to something. All-Star teams at young ages are not a strong predictor of future success. Nobody we went to Boston with seemed to think it was.

My limited experience with the Toddlers & Tiaras crowd - one of my friends from adult league is deep into the culture with his 7-year-old - is that the parents there see it as an entree into the world of modeling, acting, and more. If there are families who say, "we just do this now because it's fun," I haven't met them.

What scares me is not a tournament or two in the off-season. I'm real worried about in-season Tier I. The cost is so high it absolutely will corrupt a family's priorities. (I'm not including those where Tier I hockey is actually played - Boston, Chicago, Detroit, Ontario. They don't have the astronomical travel costs to get through a season.) Is it any wonder that parents who volunatarily shell out $10,000-30,000 a year for hockey are looking for a return when the kids get older?

If you think the scene in Winnipeg was weird, at least the players in question are good. Come to a Mite travel game in Florida. One dad I know has a camcorder in one hand and a cowbell in the other. Whenever his kid gets another goal against beginners he goes nuts like it actually means something.
Be kind. Rewind.

old goalie85
Posts: 3696
Joined: Wed Feb 25, 2009 6:37 pm

Post by old goalie85 » Thu Jun 24, 2010 3:14 pm

Wow I thought things could be crazy up here, it must be every place you can bring a crow-bar into the rink.

InigoMontoya
Posts: 1716
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 12:36 pm

Post by InigoMontoya » Fri Jun 25, 2010 6:54 am

One dad I know has a camcorder in one hand and a cowbell in the other.
He needs to put down the cowbell, so he frees up that hand to update the boys facebook page with a play-by-play of each goal he scores in that three-on-three cross-ice game and how awesome he is at taking a drink from the water bottle when his shift is done.

observer
Posts: 2225
Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 8:45 pm

Post by observer » Fri Jun 25, 2010 7:38 am

A couple of quotes from a wise man.

I liken it to cockfighting,

I raised him, I train him, make sure he's well rested and nourished and then throw him in the little 3 on 3 rink.

observer
Posts: 2225
Joined: Wed Apr 02, 2008 8:45 pm

Post by observer » Fri Jun 25, 2010 8:59 am

For those of you with your nose pressed against the glass.

ilike2score
Posts: 76
Joined: Sat Jun 06, 2009 11:00 am

Post by ilike2score » Sat Jun 26, 2010 9:26 pm

The activity does not matter as the Insanity is the same. I have seen more outrageous behavior at Little League Baseball, Flag Football, Soccer games than I have at Hockey games. And yes I have seen some crazy stuff at Youth Hockey games. While Hockey can be quite expensive, other activities are much more expensive than Hockey. I have a buddy who has three boys who Race BMX motorcycles. Each bike is 5 grand plus all the parts and maintenance. My niece is into Gymnastics. She practices about four times as many hours as my Hockey player does and her costs reflect that. I also have a daughter who is a competitive dancer. The yearly costs for Dance always are higher than my costs for Hockey. My point? You can't compare Hockey to Beauty pageants, and if you do, I bet you will find Hockey was less expensive, and the parents at the beauty pageant or any other event had more issues and questionable behavior.

F14
Posts: 260
Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2007 3:15 am

CLASSIC

Post by F14 » Tue Jun 29, 2010 3:16 pm

LOVED this Post - It was a hilarious interpretation and transference to AAA hockey, AAU Summer National Traveling Basketball or any intense activity when parents are forking over $2,000-$25,000 (Depending on what part of the country) in the "name of their child"

If the child is 100% thrilled to death, that is one thing, but there are far too many parents throwing money at activities to make their child the next Miss America, Mr. Hockey, Mr. Basketball, etc. and putting intense pressure on their kids to succeed in my opinion. Let them be kids especially at the younger ages and take part in mulitiple activities.

Just my two cents.

DeborahTyus
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Jul 12, 2013 4:21 am
Location: Danville, VA

Post by DeborahTyus » Fri Jul 12, 2013 5:12 am

I have seen many parents of young girls who have put immense pressure on their girls to look, have good figure and forced them to participate in beauty pageants in spite of their disinterest. This has caused many suicide case or depression among teenage girls.

SCBlueLiner
Posts: 640
Joined: Wed Aug 15, 2012 11:11 pm

Post by SCBlueLiner » Fri Jul 12, 2013 9:06 am

ilike2score wrote:The activity does not matter as the Insanity is the same. I have seen more outrageous behavior at Little League Baseball, Flag Football, Soccer games than I have at Hockey games. And yes I have seen some crazy stuff at Youth Hockey games. While Hockey can be quite expensive, other activities are much more expensive than Hockey. I have a buddy who has three boys who Race BMX motorcycles. Each bike is 5 grand plus all the parts and maintenance. My niece is into Gymnastics. She practices about four times as many hours as my Hockey player does and her costs reflect that. I also have a daughter who is a competitive dancer. The yearly costs for Dance always are higher than my costs for Hockey. My point? You can't compare Hockey to Beauty pageants, and if you do, I bet you will find Hockey was less expensive, and the parents at the beauty pageant or any other event had more issues and questionable behavior.
Speaking of costs. I dated a girl once who was into rodeos, horses, and the like. The purely American sport of being a cowboy. A good barrel racing horse for a girl will cost you $50,000+. I about crapped my pants when I heard that.

Hockey is sooo cheap to play.

savagegopher
Posts: 75
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2012 10:20 am

Post by savagegopher » Fri Jul 12, 2013 9:21 am

Whats funny is all the money people spend on youth activities, they would be better off putting the money into a 529 plan and saving for the kids college

JSR
Posts: 1673
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 5:26 pm

Post by JSR » Fri Jul 12, 2013 9:39 am

savagegopher wrote:Whats funny is all the money people spend on youth activities, they would be better off putting the money into a 529 plan and saving for the kids college
No offense but I call "BS" on that.... I hear that all the time and it is complete bull... first off if they weren't spending it on hockey or youth activities they'd spend it elsewhere, it's not getting 'saved for college".... secondly the majority of people I know who spend "alot" on hockey also save alot for college for their kids, the reality is most of the people who can afford the costs of that type of hockey involvement can afford college, that is the reality of it and most who can't afford to do hockey with those costs dont' have the "extra" money to save for college so that statement is off base on many levels....

O-townClown
Posts: 4041
Joined: Wed Oct 10, 2007 12:22 pm
Location: Typical homeboy from the O-Town

Post by O-townClown » Fri Jul 12, 2013 10:04 am

Plus JSR, a well-rounded upbringing means a kid will learn through school and also gain valuable life skills through other activities. A summer job, youth sports, and artistic endeavors all can make kids better adults in my opinion.

--

One obvious observation...

For a boy there is more to life than hockey, but for a girl...doesn't Howard Stern say, "there's nothing more important than being a beautiful girl"?

LOL
Be kind. Rewind.

savagegopher
Posts: 75
Joined: Fri Jul 20, 2012 10:20 am

Post by savagegopher » Fri Jul 12, 2013 10:30 am

[quote="JSR"][quote="savagegopher"]Whats funny is all the money people spend on youth activities, they would be better off putting the money into a 529 plan and saving for the kids college[/quote]

No offense but I call "BS" on that.... I hear that all the time and it is complete bull... first off if they weren't spending it on hockey or youth activities they'd spend it elsewhere, it's not getting 'saved for college".... secondly the majority of people I know who spend "alot" on hockey also save alot for college for their kids, the reality is most of the people who can afford the costs of that type of hockey involvement can afford college, that is the reality of it and most who can't afford to do hockey with those costs dont' have the "extra" money to save for college so that statement is off base on many levels....[/quote]

You may be right they may spend it else where, but the reality is, I look at peoples finances all the time and its surprising the lack of assets people have and the lack of money people have save toward college, I had a parent tell me the other day, he spends more on hockey than his mortgage

InigoMontoya
Posts: 1716
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 12:36 pm

Post by InigoMontoya » Fri Jul 12, 2013 12:33 pm

SCBlueLiner wrote:
ilike2score wrote:The activity does not matter as the Insanity is the same. I have seen more outrageous behavior at Little League Baseball, Flag Football, Soccer games than I have at Hockey games. And yes I have seen some crazy stuff at Youth Hockey games. While Hockey can be quite expensive, other activities are much more expensive than Hockey. I have a buddy who has three boys who Race BMX motorcycles. Each bike is 5 grand plus all the parts and maintenance. My niece is into Gymnastics. She practices about four times as many hours as my Hockey player does and her costs reflect that. I also have a daughter who is a competitive dancer. The yearly costs for Dance always are higher than my costs for Hockey. My point? You can't compare Hockey to Beauty pageants, and if you do, I bet you will find Hockey was less expensive, and the parents at the beauty pageant or any other event had more issues and questionable behavior.
Speaking of costs. I dated a girl once who was into rodeos, horses, and the like. The purely American sport of being a cowboy. A good barrel racing horse for a girl will cost you $50,000+. I about crapped my pants when I heard that.

Hockey is sooo cheap to play.
Not to mention the $70k horse trailer with sleeping quarters (rinks are a lot closer than rodeos) and the $50k truck needed to pull it.

JSR
Posts: 1673
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 5:26 pm

Post by JSR » Fri Jul 12, 2013 12:35 pm

savagegopher wrote:
JSR wrote:
savagegopher wrote:Whats funny is all the money people spend on youth activities, they would be better off putting the money into a 529 plan and saving for the kids college
No offense but I call "BS" on that.... I hear that all the time and it is complete bull... first off if they weren't spending it on hockey or youth activities they'd spend it elsewhere, it's not getting 'saved for college".... secondly the majority of people I know who spend "alot" on hockey also save alot for college for their kids, the reality is most of the people who can afford the costs of that type of hockey involvement can afford college, that is the reality of it and most who can't afford to do hockey with those costs dont' have the "extra" money to save for college so that statement is off base on many levels....
You may be right they may spend it else where, but the reality is, I look at peoples finances all the time and its surprising the lack of assets people have and the lack of money people have save toward college, I had a parent tell me the other day, he spends more on hockey than his mortgage
The guy who pays more for hockey than his mortage doesn't mean he doesn't have the money to pay for hockey AND college though.... I pay more for hockey than my mortgage because I don;t have a mortgage, my house is nearly paid off and my interest rate is really low, but I digress..... I do financial planning for a living and I know ALOT of people who live way above their means and those people are in trouble but most of them do not do yearr round sports and all the "extra stuff" that comes with year round hockey.... Also, interestingly very, very few people that I deal with that are involved in Tier 1 year round hockey (where the "real" expense is) live above their means, most in fact live at or below their means. Now MN does not have Tier 1 hockey and hence you folks who live up there honestly, even the Machine Orange kids, don't incur even close to the expenses that the average kid who plays Tier 1 incurs..... even the year round kids in MN have a bargain.... again the folks who live above their means, there is literally no helping them so the point is moot, and the folks who do not are fine so that is why I think that statement about "savign it for college instead of spending it on hockey" has no teeth or merit

InigoMontoya
Posts: 1716
Joined: Fri Feb 27, 2009 12:36 pm

Post by InigoMontoya » Fri Jul 12, 2013 12:46 pm

"savign it for college instead of spending it on hockey"
But Lucia said it, so it must be genius.

MrBoDangles
Posts: 4082
Joined: Tue Jan 27, 2009 9:32 pm

Post by MrBoDangles » Fri Jul 12, 2013 7:04 pm

College? WHL, baby!!!

:lol: :wink:

Section 8 guy
Posts: 540
Joined: Sun Jun 24, 2012 9:04 pm

Post by Section 8 guy » Sat Jul 13, 2013 12:03 am

JSR wrote: No offense but I call "BS" on that....
I think this is far more true than you are representing in your comments. My kid doesn't play any even remotely expensive versions of any of the sports he's in, but he is in multiple sports.

I could easily pay for his college education with the money I have spent and will spend on his sports, very easily.

We clearly get more enjoyment, experiences and life lessons this way, and I wouldn't change any of it.......but to say many of us couldn't pay for our kids educations with the money we spend on their sports is simply not true.

JSR
Posts: 1673
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2009 5:26 pm

Post by JSR » Mon Jul 15, 2013 10:30 am

Section 8 guy wrote:
JSR wrote: No offense but I call "BS" on that....
I think this is far more true than you are representing in your comments. My kid doesn't play any even remotely expensive versions of any of the sports he's in, but he is in multiple sports.

I could easily pay for his college education with the money I have spent and will spend on his sports, very easily.

We clearly get more enjoyment, experiences and life lessons this way, and I wouldn't change any of it.......but to say many of us couldn't pay for our kids educations with the money we spend on their sports is simply not true.
That is not what I said, clearly you did not read my post.... I never said you "couldn't" I said you "wouldn't", "won't", or "don't need to" .... you actually made my point in your last paragraph

royals dad
Posts: 434
Joined: Mon Dec 29, 2008 8:41 pm

Post by royals dad » Wed Jul 17, 2013 10:48 am

http://www.youthhockeyhub.com/the-next- ... az-lucius/

I think we (hockey in general) may have just rocketed past the Pageant Moms on the nuts-o-meter!

Post Reply