Father Coaches

[RAILROAD621]

What do you guys think about father coaches at a higher level of hockey such as Pewee A and B1 and Bantam A and B1? What are some pros and cons to the association and the teams. My biggest problem with it is it hurts the association the following years as you are always looking for new coaches. Does your association allow father coaches......Just looking for some imput.
Thanks

[hockeyfan92621]

What do you guys think about father coaches at a higher level of hockey such as Pewee A and B1 and Bantam A and B1? What are some pros and cons to the association and the teams. My biggest problem with it is it hurts the association the following years as you are always looking for new coaches. Does your association allow father coaches......Just looking for some imput.
Thanks

I think once kids hit peewee age, boys or girls, there should not be parent coaches. I think there is bias there no matter what the coaches intent.

The problem is, at least with smaller associations, there are not alot, if any, volunteers to take the job so that limits the options.

[Stealth]

Just a guess, but it is probly "take what you can get" environment for allot of associations?

[outdoorshcky17]

sometimes also a parent trying not to give his kid too much ice time will end up shorting their own kids ice time.

[wingman]

The father/coach also comes under a higher power microscope, because any other kids inadequacies is easily explained in the mind of those parents of the 'other' kids as a direct result of the father/coach not playing their kid , enough, properly, on the right line, in the right position, etc., etc. When in effect and is normally the case, the father/coach is extra tough on his own kid. Anddddd due to all the finger pointing by the parents, he is extra lite on all the other kids. Every year I tell the coach be tough on him-like he is your own. Then I leave the coach alone. We have gotten along just fine and my kid has improved as a player far superior to his peers. Too many parents can't let go and they micro manage--which really hurts their kid. By the way the 'other' kids , being used to being coddled ever since mites, by the time they are bantams are little PLEASE BAN ME's and go crying to their mommies and daddies when the coach starts to put them to task. Remember they have been conditioned to understand that the coach is wrong. Well those parents have teached them too well--and sure enough being exposed to this long enough--the kid starts acting on it as he matures. Let go-and watch from afar--you'll be amazed at how fast your son or daughter becomes better player and person. Let them deal with it-instead of you. Thats my 2 cents.

[hockeyfan92621]

I would just like to see things handled fairly, evenly, however you want to say it. I have seen coaches work both ways, either harder on their own kid so the kid pays or not hard enough so the kid pays.
Definitely have seen it more that they offer unfair time to their kid and that kid doesn't learn from mistakes being made, because he/she must not be making mistakes. Otherwise, they'd be sitting on the bench like the other kid, right? Wrong. This doesn't teach those kids anything.

[southernfool]

Obviously the best thing is if you have all outside coaches but you should always look to take the best coach whether he has a kid on the team or not. If you have a dad with BETTER coaching qualifications who is willing to put up with the headaches of having parents question his moves, let him coach even if his kid is on the team. That is a lot better than taking a lessor coach just because he doesn't have kids on the team. It is too difficult to find good coaches to let one that is in your club not be used.

Now, in situations where you have 2 coaches who are equally skilled at coaching and one does not have a kid and one does, use the one without kids. It just makes life easier for the parents, players and especially the kid of the dad.

I would also say that when you have a parent who is helping as an assistant coach they should help on the ice but stay out of the dressing room. There is no need for them to intrude in the dressing room conversations especially as their kids get older. It just makes the other parents question things more. Make life easier on your kid by stepping back and letting your kid work with the head coach. He was selected as the head coach because he is the better coach so don't try to overpower him.

[PanthersIn2011]

Assuming good coaches and good parents, it is better to have non-parent coaches, especially at higher levels.

Others have touched on the "fairness" issue. But another huge challenge is establishing the boundary of the parent/child/coach/player relationship ... when are you speaking as coach/player and when are you speaking as father/son? No matter how well you do this, it's never quite a easy as when coach and parent are two separate people. I am not coaching my older son (2nd year PW) for the first time ever this year, and it has been fantastic.

Note: the wording of your question makes me think that you might be fact-finding on behalf of an association. Here's some food for thought: pop onto some successful organzation's websites where you can look at team rosters (Edina and Wayzata come to mind). You'll likely find that their A teams are not coached by parents, even down at the squirt level.

[MNHockey4life]

I think once kids hit bantams the shouldn't have parent coaches, because bantam hockey is more competitive and the other traveling hockey ages and have a coach that treats a player differently because he's his son?

[SotaH0ck14]

yeah bantams and up should be non parent coaches for sure
parent coaches arent necessary above peewees

[snipes11]

I do not think father coaches should be around in higher level. I mean sure they volunteer there time but there is too much political garbage with there kids on their team.

[northwoods oldtimer]

Wingman told it like it is in every single association in the state. I just had to deal with a whole bunch of them last week. These folks need to find a flippin' hobby or something.

[sixbucksagallon]

I think in most organizaitions if you didn't have father coaches you would have a very hard time finding coaches. Not a lot of 20-30 year old ex-hockey players, have the amount of time that is required to coach these teams, with trying to establish themselves finacially and possibly raising famalies. So in that respect, thanks to all of the fathers coaching. I also agree with wingman on I think most father coaches are easier on the other kids. Which is not always good for a team. They have to live with the other parents for a long time while hockey may only be a year or two. On the other hand I would be more apt to talk to a non-father about his/her systems and the performance of my child, then a father. And there are always the questions of "would that kid made the team" which doesn't bother me. Overall, I think organizations should be actively seeking non-parents to coach at higher levels. It is probably just a short time away where A, and B1 coaches will be paid a small stipend $2000-3000 to coach teams. I think it would get more quality young guys willing to coach.

[ozone1]

Having father coaches is always going to be a tough one. At A-level it should flat out not be allowed, too many problems come up and 90% of father coaches have always got a hidden agenda for their kid, whether it be for ice time, positions or looking down the road to favors for years beyond. Fathers = Politics, plain and simple the majority of time.

[PuckTime]

Wingman told it like it is in every single association in the state. I just had to deal with a whole bunch of them last week. These folks need to find a flippin' hobby or something.

You sound as if you're a parent coach.

[selloutcrowd99]

Don Lucia/Tony Lucia

[skillbuilder]

In our club it is often a problem with both playing time favoritism and in the fact that many of the coaches are not nearly as proficient teaching as they were as players years ago. The real problem with that is that they think they understand real development and how to relate to adolesent boys but they don't. I don't coach in the winter for various reasons one being that it's difficult to take the teams the evaluators select and achieve all your objectives. Parental medling, wide variations of talent etc. creates many obstacles. When assembling my 1994 AAA team I can select kids for various roles, select parents, etc. and everyone wants to be there. There is very little competition, jealousy etc. when kids are from all over. Many of the issues above are reasons why many are asking Mn Hockey to allow winter AAA like so many other states do.
For the record I never play my kid or any other kid more than other kids and never will. If there's one minute left in the game, we're down a goal and line 3 is up, they need to step up and win it for the team. If you ask them to step up, be leaders, and you show your trust in them they will sometimes surprise you. If not, you gave some players a valuable opportunity that will help them grow as individuals and you just keep developing their skills in practice so the next time they can make it happen. It's amazing how kids will play for you when you show faith in them and treat them like they are valuable to the team. Their team mates respect them when you do that as well. Win Win

[northwoods oldtimer]

Nope not a coach. You must be one of the "parents who can't let go and they micro manage" types.

[PuckTime]

In our club it is often a problem with both playing time favoritism and in the fact that many of the coaches are not nearly as proficient teaching as they were as players years ago. The real problem with that is that they think they understand real development and how to relate to adolesent boys but they don't. I don't coach in the winter for various reasons one being that it's difficult to take the teams the evaluators select and achieve all your objectives. Parental medling, wide variations of talent etc. creates many obstacles. When assembling my 1994 AAA team I can select kids for various roles, select parents, etc. and everyone wants to be there. There is very little competition, jealousy etc. when kids are from all over. Many of the issues above are reasons why many are asking Mn Hockey to allow winter AAA like so many other states do.
For the record I never play my kid or any other kid more than other kids and never will. If there's one minute left in the game, we're down a goal and line 3 is up, they need to step up and win it for the team. If you ask them to step up, be leaders, and you show your trust in them they will sometimes surprise you. If not, you gave some players a valuable opportunity that will help them grow as individuals and you just keep developing their skills in practice so the next time they can make it happen. It's amazing how kids will play for you when you show faith in them and treat them like they are valuable to the team. Their team mates respect them when you do that as well. Win Win

Well said skillbuilder. I know that when my son feels more welcome and more wanted on his AAA team than he does in his own association, there's something wrong with that picture.

[PuckTime]

Nope not a coach. You must be one of the "parents who can't let go and they micro manage" types.

Nope, my son will get where he gets by power of his own hard work and talent.
Just think there are kids that don't get a fair shake because of parent coaches. I've seen it happen for many years.

[northwoods oldtimer]

Pucktime, I agree with you on both counts.

[QuackerTracker]

Don Lucia/Tony Lucia

This is a differnet situation then the youth level. Tony made the decison to play for his dad. It was approved by the captins of the gophers. Tony was going to go to Notre Dame to follow in his dads footsteps but really want to play for his dad. At the youth level from PeeWee A level up parents should be involved but not coaching on the bench during games.

[wingman]

Just a clarification: I probably shouldn't have used the word 'PLEASE BAN ME'. But what I will tell you is fair play should be outlined by the association. It should include the coach (parent or not) to abide by some guidelines, and first and foremost play them all as often as you can. I know for a fact those complaining about 'parent' coaches couldn't fathom at all a non parent coach, because the non parent coach will stretch the fair play rule to the point of total unfainess. I've witnessed this personally and it is tragic. The reason why I say this is the non parent coaches are usually younger and think they have to abide by their most recent playing past of the better kids play, the lessors sit. This year alone I have seen teams, some rated in the top 10 in the state at A peewee's get away with playing their horses constantly. They go 1-2-1-2-1-2-1-2 and maybe 3 gets out once or twice a period. Some have parent coaches some don't. Bottom line is the kid has to learn or have incentive to play. I don't condone one shift a period--but I do condone some kind of incentive for the better player by playing more--and the lessor player to reach for a goal and in order to play more he has got to give more--not just cop an attitude like his father or mothers. Again pick the best coach, and then let him coach. Some things are taught to kids by not saying anything(unless it is positive) and never ever contradict the coach or complain in front of your kid or anyone about the coach. Support him by your practice as well as your words and watch how your kid grows. It does work.

[wingman]

Oh and if the coach is fair--he will play your kid fairly. Just trust that what he is doing is a larger picture--not just the most recent 22 second shift. Watch over several games.

[gopherhockey33]

at peewee A bantam A bantam b1 there shouldnt be parent coaches.