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Can't Never Tried wrote:

Govs93 wrote:

Can't Never Tried wrote:Finally found something to occupy Govs..go easy manic mode!
http://www.therightfoot.net/mystuff/wha ... lewrap.swf

That belongs on the Most Useful Website thread. I'll be able to kill the rest of my day here at work with that, and I can't think of anything that would be more useful than that right now...

And is there one? at least before I said that?

Us common folk can start great threads too.

EREmpireStrikesBack wrote:

Can't Never Tried wrote:

Govs93 wrote: That belongs on the Most Useful Website thread. I'll be able to kill the rest of my day here at work with that, and I can't think of anything that would be more useful than that right now...

And is there one? at least before I said that?

Us common folk can start great threads too.

That was to mean that Govs was about to start another thread, and you are uncommon

Sensitive Husband...


A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee. 'What's the matter, dear?' she whispers as she steps into the room. 'Why are you down here at this time of night?'



The husband looks up from his coffee, 'I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?' he asks solemnly.



The wife is almost reduced to tears herself, just thinking how caring and sensitive her husband is. 'Yes, I do' she replies.



The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily. 'Do you remember when your dad caught us in the back seat of my car?'



'Yes, I remember,' said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.



The husband continues. 'Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'



'I remember that, too' she replies softly.



He wipes another tear from his cheek and says....'I would have gotten out today.'

Beautiful!

LMAO

and knowing our court systems - especially in Vermont - he might have only had to serve 2-3 years like most convicted sex felons who go through that state's wonderful rehab program.


sorry......and now for something completely different............more fun

tomASS wrote:and knowing our court systems - especially in Vermont - he might have only had to serve 2-3 years like most convicted sex felons who go through that state's wonderful rehab program.


sorry......and now for something completely different............more fun

Good heavens... Yet another reason to avoid soccer evidently.

Oh those kids....



HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
-- Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And The #1 Response Was...

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

kids now days they grow-up so fast! and they have it so right

Check out this site, much like the Sports page of The Onion...

http://www.sportspickle.com/

[quote="Can't Never Tried"]Oh those kids....


IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

Because I was laughing, my three wanted to see what was so funny. They ALL agreed with this one....I am definitely revamping my mothering style!!It's always so sad for mother's of boy's to discover that we really are just breeding more of the same

Pretty quiet here today... so how about this one.

Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party. After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room.

Those who remained talked about their kids.

The first guy said, "My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a successful company at the bottom of the barrel. He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy said, "Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He started working for a big airline company, then went to flight school to become a pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his birthday."

The third man said: "Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best Universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion."

The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the restroom and asked: "What are all the congratulations for?"

One of the three said: "We were talking about the pride we feel for the Successes of our sons. ..What about your son?"

The fourth man replied: "My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper at a nightclub."

The three friends said: "What a shame...What a disappointment."

The fourth man replied: "No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he hasn't done too bad either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line Mercedes from his three boyfriends."


Courtsey JOD.com

DMom wrote:....I am definitely revamping my mothering style!!

Careful with that revamp, DMom!

Neutron 14 wrote:

DMom wrote:....I am definitely revamping my mothering style!!

Careful with that revamp, DMom!

Not bad for Monday Neut

I was just saying Saturday night that I couldn't wait. In three years I'll have my very own, personal, designated driver!!

I thought I was getting one of those when I got married but than, he thought his life would be a little different too

DMom wrote:I was just saying Saturday night that I couldn't wait. In three years I'll have my very own, personal, designated driver!!

I thought I was getting one of those when I got married but than, he thought his life would be a little different too

News flash they aren't taking you anywhere, they'll either be out with the guys, or the girl friend.

I'll bet you...ask them today, when they get their license if they will do it, they'll say yeah sure!
Then when the time comes......ah sorry ma gotta go to sweetie pies tonight, or I'm going to Johnny's house.
Never happen

Can't Never Tried wrote:

DMom wrote:I was just saying Saturday night that I couldn't wait. In three years I'll have my very own, personal, designated driver!!

I thought I was getting one of those when I got married but than, he thought his life would be a little different too

News flash they aren't taking you anywhere, they'll either be out with the guys, or the girl friend.

I'll bet you...ask them today, when they get their license if they will do it, they'll say yeah sure!
Then when the time comes......ah sorry ma gotta go to sweetie pies tonight, or I'm going to Johnny's house.
Never happen

Only way DMom is right is if her kid is 12 because when they have their permit they'll do anything.

After that, CNT is right.

EREmpireStrikesBack wrote:

Can't Never Tried wrote:

DMom wrote:I was just saying Saturday night that I couldn't wait. In three years I'll have my very own, personal, designated driver!!

I thought I was getting one of those when I got married but than, he thought his life would be a little different too

News flash they aren't taking you anywhere, they'll either be out with the guys, or the girl friend.

I'll bet you...ask them today, when they get their license if they will do it, they'll say yeah sure!
Then when the time comes......ah sorry ma gotta go to sweetie pies tonight, or I'm going to Johnny's house.
Never happen

Only way DMom is right is if her kid is 12 because when they have their permit they'll do anything.

After that, CNT is right.

Which is legal, by the way. As far as ethical goes , it's in the eye of the beholder .

I knew somebody on here could tell me the legalities of that...if he has his permit and I'm the adult supervising, is there a DUI in that scenario anywhere????

In reality, I can't remember the last time I was under the influence......

DMom wrote:I knew somebody on here could tell me the legalities of that...if he has his permit and I'm the adult supervising, is there a DUI in that scenario anywhere????

In reality, I can't remember the last time I was under the influence......

This question is posed all of the time on "Ask the Cop" on the KQ Morning Show in Duluth. It is no different than having a friend of age be the designated driver. Better than driving drunk? Yes. Having your 15 year old drag you out of the bar and drive you home? I guess it depends if you can't get a taxi or another ride, then you gotta do what ya gotta do.

Ok,

One to tell your kids:

A local parish has a tall steeple with a large bell.
Every Sunday, just before service the bell is rung.
It has been rung just before service since the church was built many years ago.

Finally, on a Monday, the one, and only, church bell ringer dies.
After a very nice funeral on Saturday, the Minister suddenly realizes that he will need a new bell ringer for Sunday service.
The Minister is distraught and puts out a sign immediatly for a new bell ringer.

Just before the Sunday service, a man walks up and says he will take the job.

The minister is in such a hurry that he tells the man he has the job and asks him to please hurry and go up the steeple and ring the bell immediatly.

The man climbs the stairs, reaches out to grab the rope to ring the bell.
Sadly, He is exhausted from climbing the steps, slips, bangs his face against the bell, falls down the steeple and dies.

The minister and several parishoners hear all the commotion, rush to the bottom of the steeple and find the man dead.

The Minister, obviously distraught, says: I was in such a hurry to have this man ring the bell today that I never even asked his name. Does anybody here know him?"

There was a pause, and finally one parishoner said, "I don't recognize him, but his face sure rings a bell!!!!!

Twelve year old: smiled
Ten year old: Laughed his rear off. He's still laughing.
Seven year old: "who's going to ring the bell next week mommy"

p.s. The bubble wrap kept them from fighting for a few minutes today, so thanks again!

DMom wrote:I knew somebody on here could tell me the legalities of that...if he has his permit and I'm the adult supervising, is there a DUI in that scenario anywhere????

In reality, I can't remember the last time I was under the influence......

Legal: Yes.

The drunk in the passenger has to stay awake though. If they are asleep, then it becomes illegal. And the passenger seat is the one who has to be over 21 years of age. Can't have a sober 19 year old in the passenger seat with a drunk 34 year old in the back.

DMom wrote:Twelve year old: smiled
Ten year old: Laughed his rear off. He's still laughing.
Seven year old: "who's going to ring the bell next week mommy"

p.s. The bubble wrap kept them from fighting for a few minutes today, so thanks again!

It actually continues with the same story = Obviously the minister still needs a bell ringer.

The next time, of course, just before the sunday service, a new person is hired to ring the bell, runs up, slips, smashes his face against the bell, falls and dies.

As the crowd gathers again, the Minister has to admit that he didn't get this poor fellows name either.
He again asks the surrounding parishoners if anybody knows him.

After a short pause, the same parishoner steps forward and says,

"No, but he sure is a dead ringer for the other guy."

A little girl asks her mum, 'Mum, can I take Lulu (the dog) for a walk around the block?'
Her mum replies 'No, because she is on heat.'
'What does that mean?' asked the child.
'Go and ask your father. I think he's in the garage.'
The little girl goes out to the garage and says, '
Dad, can I take Lulu for a walk around the block? I asked Mum, but she said
Lulu was on the heat, and to come ask you.'
He took a rag, soaked it in petrol, and scrubbed the dog's backside with it to disguise the scent, and said 'Ok, you can go now,
but keep Lulu on the leash and only go once around the block.'
The little girl left and returned a few minutes later with no dog on the leash…
Surprised, Dad asked, 'Where's Lulu?'
(You're gonna love this!!!!!!!!!)...............











The little girl said, 'She ran out of petrol about halfway round the block, so another dog is pushing her home.