Meet your 2008 Twins!
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Neutron 14
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I'm telling ya... I'm not a big fan of his ballclub, but is there any way we can get CarGo and Ozzie Guillen in the same dugout? Those two are press GENIUSES.
Oh, the fun we could have!
Oh, the fun we could have!
Not since Burnsie have we had a guy like that.Govs93 wrote:I'm telling ya... I'm not a big fan of his ballclub, but is there any way we can get CarGo and Ozzie Guillen in the same dugout? Those two are press GENIUSES.
Oh, the fun we could have!
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Irishmans Shanty
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Neutron 14
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Burnsies Finestpackerboy wrote:Not since Burnsie have we had a guy like that.Govs93 wrote:I'm telling ya... I'm not a big fan of his ballclub, but is there any way we can get CarGo and Ozzie Guillen in the same dugout? Those two are press GENIUSES.
Oh, the fun we could have!
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Neutron 14
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Can't Never Tried
- Posts: 4345
- Joined: Thu Sep 14, 2006 3:55 pm
A great big thrill in my life (sad, sorry little life), was a good 12 years ago or so while I was working at a bank in the Skyways of beautiful downtown St. Paul, and I got the opportunity to sell flowers with Fox 9/KQRS mega-celebrity Jeff Passolt - whom, of course, does an absolute SPOT-ON Jerry Burns impression.
So Passolt and I are standing out in the Skyway selling these flowers as part of the American Cancer Society's Daffodil Days fundraiser, and we're supposed to be "competing" against the other banks in the Skyway (I think Norwest had Norm Coleman, and 1st Bank had Stan Turner or something). Passolt is selling like a man possesed... He's yelling and screaming, chasing people walking around on lunch, "BUY SOME DAFFODILS!!! GREAT CAUSE!!! C'MON GUY - YOU LOOK LIKE AN ATTORNEY TYPE, YOU CAN AFFORD IT!!! "... Stuff like that.
One guy notices Passolt, and in passing says something to the effect of "I'd buy them from Coach Uncle Burnsie, but I can't buy them from you", so Passolt walks up to the guy and without missing a beat, in his Coach Burnsie voice says (edited so as not to get me banned) "Buy the g-damn f'n flowers ya sugart!t".
The guy took out his checkbook and bought an entire case for the office.
So Passolt and I are standing out in the Skyway selling these flowers as part of the American Cancer Society's Daffodil Days fundraiser, and we're supposed to be "competing" against the other banks in the Skyway (I think Norwest had Norm Coleman, and 1st Bank had Stan Turner or something). Passolt is selling like a man possesed... He's yelling and screaming, chasing people walking around on lunch, "BUY SOME DAFFODILS!!! GREAT CAUSE!!! C'MON GUY - YOU LOOK LIKE AN ATTORNEY TYPE, YOU CAN AFFORD IT!!! "... Stuff like that.
One guy notices Passolt, and in passing says something to the effect of "I'd buy them from Coach Uncle Burnsie, but I can't buy them from you", so Passolt walks up to the guy and without missing a beat, in his Coach Burnsie voice says (edited so as not to get me banned) "Buy the g-damn f'n flowers ya sugart!t".
The guy took out his checkbook and bought an entire case for the office.
2008 Stats:
Kubel: 29 Games, 108 ABs, 4 HR, 18 RBI, .241 AVG. .389 SLG, 1 GIDP
Thomas: 29 Games, 104 ABs, 3 HR, 16 RBI, .212 AVG, .346 SLG, 4 GIDP
There ya go... on a level plane. Is it worth signing the same player with a nasty case of clubhouse cancer? You tell me. If Craig Monroe keeps rolling, we'll both be proven wrong at the end of the year anyway.
Frank Thomas.
Kubel: 29 Games, 108 ABs, 4 HR, 18 RBI, .241 AVG. .389 SLG, 1 GIDP
Thomas: 29 Games, 104 ABs, 3 HR, 16 RBI, .212 AVG, .346 SLG, 4 GIDP
There ya go... on a level plane. Is it worth signing the same player with a nasty case of clubhouse cancer? You tell me. If Craig Monroe keeps rolling, we'll both be proven wrong at the end of the year anyway.
Frank Thomas.
I see th players association is complaining about the fact tht nobody has offered Bonds a job.
I think he can still hit.
Lets get him in here to pepepr some balls at the baggie.
Make the deal incentive filled.
What's the downside?
Oh wait, how silly of me.......what an idiot...........what was I thinking.......we have Jason Kubel.
Jason Boofin Kubel.
I think he can still hit.
Lets get him in here to pepepr some balls at the baggie.
Make the deal incentive filled.
What's the downside?
Oh wait, how silly of me.......what an idiot...........what was I thinking.......we have Jason Kubel.
Jason Boofin Kubel.
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OGEE OGELTHORPE
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This just in:
Babe Ruth Rises From The Dead and Wants to Play for the Twins
I a shocking story out of New York, it was learned today that scientists figured out a way to get Babe Ruth to rise from the dead. Thats right. The Sultan Of Swat, The Great Bambino, The Babe himself , George Herman Ruth is alive.
Ruth has spoken only these words" I want to play for Minnesota".
The Twins response was predictable. "We aren't interested" a team spoksman said. "We have Jason Kubel and we wouldnt want to limit his at bats in any way." he added.
Twins fan and Minnhock poster Govs93 was relieved to hear that the Twins would not sign Ruth. " Kubel will hit .240 for this club and he is a key component to its success" Govs stated. "Who needs Ruth with Kubel around" he insisted.
Ruth could not be reached for comment regarding the Twins rebuff but sources close to the slugger thought that he understood how valuable Kubel is to the Twins but was never the less dissapointed in their decision.
Babe Ruth Rises From The Dead and Wants to Play for the Twins
I a shocking story out of New York, it was learned today that scientists figured out a way to get Babe Ruth to rise from the dead. Thats right. The Sultan Of Swat, The Great Bambino, The Babe himself , George Herman Ruth is alive.
Ruth has spoken only these words" I want to play for Minnesota".
The Twins response was predictable. "We aren't interested" a team spoksman said. "We have Jason Kubel and we wouldnt want to limit his at bats in any way." he added.
Twins fan and Minnhock poster Govs93 was relieved to hear that the Twins would not sign Ruth. " Kubel will hit .240 for this club and he is a key component to its success" Govs stated. "Who needs Ruth with Kubel around" he insisted.
Ruth could not be reached for comment regarding the Twins rebuff but sources close to the slugger thought that he understood how valuable Kubel is to the Twins but was never the less dissapointed in their decision.
More to it than a few Homers.
Barry Bonds and Frank Thomas? May as well get Roger Clemens, too. How about Kobe Bryant,.....or O.J. Simpson,......they can probably hit a few out, too. Michael Vick may be ready in few years. 
He's got the two hard ones out of the way, just needs a 2B and a 1B 