Alternatives to AAA?

[royals dad]

What is your perfect balance (ice time) if your son says to you that he wishes to play in the NHL?

Or have you told your kid that it's not possible and don't even try to reach your goals?

Youth Hockey is an investment that pays back.... The "NETWORK" of friends alone is priceless and there are plenty that have careers in Hockey that didn't make the big show. Aim high and you will more than likely be happy with where you land.

My son is a mite, and is the youngest of 3 hockey kids in a family. His balance is different because of all the factors that go into raising a kid. He wants to play for the Twins, Wild, U, and his HS team. I don't discourage his dreams but I expect that it is more likely he goes to college on my dime. Sometimes I wish I had his schedule, this summer it included a baseball league, a golf camp, a hockey camp, football camp, and now a football league just starting up. My oldest on the other hand is 15 and spent her first summer with just hockey for sports her balance has shifted a ton the last few years. I believe that the best way to do it is to get them involved in a lot at a young age then let them start to focus as they get into junior high.

I wasn't saying I had the perfect recipe for anyone, I just thought the advice some people were giving to the poster with a good young hockey player was flat out bad. Anyone who says get an 9 year old in an arena for 365 days, playing on multiple teams, exceeding the rest mandates by doing more than 1 tourney at a time.... That is recipe for disaster in the majority (my opinion) of cases. Why not follow what USA Hockey suggests in the ADM Guidelines.

I also get the trap a hockey parent in places like Edina is in, if you don't specialize early your kid will be left behind by all the Kane parents. I grew up there and understand the pressure. I believe that MM exists to serve those parents. I just hate the people who try and sell the NHL to them, maybe Bernie doesn't even go there anymore it has been years since I heard the pitch. There are maybe 10 kids who are 9 years old in MN right now who will some day be drafted of them 3 or 4 might play the NHL of them 1 might have a long career. Why sacrifice a great childhood for those odds? Think about it are you jealous of a kid who will get 300+ hours of hockey practice this year? Some clinics, maybe a summer team, skating lessons, all good but get some balance as well. Just some forum advice not a recipe.

Sounds like you have formulated a plan that balances the interests of your children and your family and incorporates your family values. That is the challenge for all parents and your approach sounds like it works well for your family.

Now imagine for a minute if you had outsiders constantly second guessing your parenting, ridiculing your choices and dismissing your values. You don't need to leave this forum to see 1,000's of examples of exactly that.

Considering we are talking about sports/physical activity, isn't a more reasonable approach to "live and let live" and respect the choices of other players/families, even if we disagree?

If we can agree on that simple premise, then the logical next step on an administrative level, is to facsilitate different options and avenues, not dictate one model over others.

So your parenting advice is golden all others (who don't agree with you) should stay out of people business? 20 post a day, holy than thou, singular focus, it is almost like Q never left.

[Hard water fan]

When I read this I thought how all the professional musicians I know (not a huge sampling) play multiple instruments. Though about how most of the musicians I listen too play multiple instruments.[/quote]

EP- agree to disagree. My point is this. Ask a concert pianist how many hours they practiced as a kid. Most will say between 2 and 4 hours every day. Yes, many professional musicians play multiple instruments. And yes, many schools require kids who want to play percussion to have a couple years of piano under their belt. That being said, kids don't take flute and clarinet at the same time. Or trumpet and violin. They typically concentrate on one, learn it, master it, and then move onto others as they mature in music comprehension. I know a little about this, as my father was a music teacher for over 30 years, and I myself play multiple instruments. The point of my post was simple. Hockey seems to attract more of this type of discussion than other sports or activities. I know lots of kids in weather friendly states who play literally year round- soccer, tennis, golf, piano, etc. For some reason, kids who want to play hockey "year round" (really about 9 months max) are thrown into a category along with their parents that vilifies their intentions. I also see these kids, including my own, participating in lots of other activities, including religous studies, fishing, camping, other sports, etc. I think the argument is hypocritical and a generalization, focusing in on a a tiny percentage of people. Just my opinion.

[mackjogger]

When I read this I thought how all the professional musicians I know (not a huge sampling) play multiple instruments. Though about how most of the musicians I listen too play multiple instruments.

EP- agree to disagree. My point is this. Ask a concert pianist how many hours they practiced as a kid. Most will say between 2 and 4 hours every day. Yes, many professional musicians play multiple instruments. And yes, many schools require kids who want to play percussion to have a couple years of piano under their belt. That being said, kids don't take flute and clarinet at the same time. Or trumpet and violin. They typically concentrate on one, learn it, master it, and then move onto others as they mature in music comprehension. I know a little about this, as my father was a music teacher for over 30 years, and I myself play multiple instruments. The point of my post was simple. Hockey seems to attract more of this type of discussion than other sports or activities. I know lots of kids in weather friendly states who play literally year round- soccer, tennis, golf, piano, etc. For some reason, kids who want to play hockey "year round" (really about 9 months max) are thrown into a category along with their parents that vilifies their intentions. I also see these kids, including my own, participating in lots of other activities, including religous studies, fishing, camping, other sports, etc. I think the argument is hypocritical and a generalization, focusing in on a a tiny percentage of people. Just my opinion.[/quote]

If the boy spends his free time(say 4 hours) shooting on a net in the back yard in 90 degree heat with 75 percent humidity then comes inside drinks a juice box and starts to stick handle in the kitchen with a wooden ball and falls asleep drawing made up plays on a white board and in the winter begs to skate on the pond when it is 20 below zero and no one wants to play with him but he goes out anyway and plays game 7 of the stanley cup with a bunch of imaginary players...that kid will get himself to the highest level he is meant to play(HS/U/jr/etc.). You cant create that, they either have it or they dont. He will also hit the age when he says to you, i NEED more ice time and actually understand what he is saying to you. For now that 8 year old will do enough on his own to get to that point. all in my humble opinion!

[luckyEPDad]

Hockey seems to attract more of this type of discussion than other sports or activities. I know lots of kids in weather friendly states who play literally year round- soccer, tennis, golf, piano, etc. For some reason, kids who want to play hockey "year round" (really about 9 months max) are thrown into a category along with their parents that vilifies their intentions.

I don't know if this is true. First off, soccer and tennis are year round sports in Minnesota. Second, hockey parents know nothing of vilification. For that you need to be a tennis or gymnastics parent. Third, I think ridicule is more accurate. Parents who treat their 8 year olds like they have a guaranteed roster spot on an NHL team are ridiculed more than vilified.

Who has complained about kids playing hockey year round? Things may be different elsewhere, but in EP nobody bats an eye when you mention summer hockey. Many programs have family friendly schedules that let you get ice time while leaving most weekends open. I think the concern is early specialization. Doing one thing and excluding all else starting at an age before you have developed physically, mentally or emotionally.

I still think your music analogy falls through. Serial specialization is not early specialization. Take a kid, have them play the piano, and only the piano. Never expose them to any other instrument. Then you have a more apples-to-apples comparison. Oh, you also need to make practicing really expensive, like always have a tutor present. And you can't have the instrument at home, but must drive miles each time your child wants to practice.

It all comes down to having a thick skin and really doing what is in your child's best interest. Though you don't have to DO what they say, read what experts have written on the topic and weigh their advice. Talk to your coaches. Look at the question from all angles. Make an informed, honest decision which will likely turn out wrong, so stay informed and re-evaluate periodically.

[O-townClown]

Our newspaper had an article this week about overuse injuries, concussions, year 'round play, cost, and other issues facing youth sports.

Perhaps the best passage is the parent's quote that, "you have to monitor things for your kid because the system isn't set up to do it for you." I think that's accurate.

On some level we agree. All of us. To be good you have to play and to be great you have to play a lot. How and where and when and with who is up for debate, which is why these threads go on and on and recreate themselves periodically.

I agree with EP Dad here. Nobody says they have it nailed, but when a parent says without question that more is better at a young age it leads to a spirited debate.

One guy from this board sent me a private message that showed how much his association's Mites skated. I was shocked at how low it was. Obviously the expectation is to seek additional ice time, if a family is interested in seeing a kid develop a good foundation. Whether via outdoor ice, offseason programs, the Choice league, or something else. When a guy signs his kid up for all of them it might cause a raised eyebrow.

[observer]

Years ago a good friend asked my opinion on sports activities for his son as they were entering that period, 10-14 years old, when there seems to be a lot of choices, pressure, lack of time, finances, all converging. We were discussing his call from the soccer coach that wanted more time and commitment from his son. What I told him was, Dude, his title is soccer coach, what did you expect from him? That's his job and his responsibility. Your title is dad and that's your job and responsibility.

People, it's your responsibility to balance your child’s activities. There are people that will lobby against your sensibilities. And, consider raising a med-tech venture capitalist instead.