Coach's Kids commonly referred to as CK'S more often than not have been blessed by the inner circle as being better athlete's as they are pushed harder and have a better understanding of the game. While this is often true it really irks me when a real average CK is given this blessing. As a parent/coach you better make sure your child's ability is in the upper 25% or you better make them work harder than others to earn their opportunities. I feel it is very important that all our athletes are treated equally and earn their opportunites. What do you think Truth or Myth?
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#1hockeymom
CK'S Truth or Myth?
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#1hockeymom
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CK'S Truth or Myth?
Last edited by #1hockeymom on Mon Oct 01, 2007 8:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
I think many CK become better players but I don't agree they get extra consideration - I think they earn it. A parent who coaches probably is the same one who gets kids to the outdoor rink, forms summer teams and gets kids in other camps and 3x3 leagues.
IMHO CK's are treated one of two ways either their parent gives them extra blessings/breaks or they are ridden harder and get less breaks than anyone else on the team. The successful CK's I have seen move to the next level probably fell in the later camp - they didn't get star status and they worked extra hard to get parents and teams respect.
In the end of the day you are only as good as your talent regardless of who you know or are - you may get an extra break but it doesn't get you to the next level unless you are that good. I think the last component is mental maturity and toughness - a coach or parent can't protect a kid who is not mentally tough in the hockey or sadly in the game of life.
IMHO CK's are treated one of two ways either their parent gives them extra blessings/breaks or they are ridden harder and get less breaks than anyone else on the team. The successful CK's I have seen move to the next level probably fell in the later camp - they didn't get star status and they worked extra hard to get parents and teams respect.
In the end of the day you are only as good as your talent regardless of who you know or are - you may get an extra break but it doesn't get you to the next level unless you are that good. I think the last component is mental maturity and toughness - a coach or parent can't protect a kid who is not mentally tough in the hockey or sadly in the game of life.
JH, I think you are correct. Most Ck's get held to a higher standard by the coach but obviously their are exceptions.
Note that coaches kids are sometimes exposed to the post game commentary at home or in the car by someone that knows the game but is maybe forgetting about being a parent. The other kids generally hear about it by their concerned parent who probably don't understand the game (but thinks they do) or the plan for that particular game. Neither one is a good situation.
My experience in hockey, soccer, softball, baseball, football etc is that most CK's get help from their parents away from practice and/or started earlier so they tend to be in the upper %. I would say that maybe 5% of the CK's I have been around get favored status that they don't deserve.
Note that coaches kids are sometimes exposed to the post game commentary at home or in the car by someone that knows the game but is maybe forgetting about being a parent. The other kids generally hear about it by their concerned parent who probably don't understand the game (but thinks they do) or the plan for that particular game. Neither one is a good situation.
My experience in hockey, soccer, softball, baseball, football etc is that most CK's get help from their parents away from practice and/or started earlier so they tend to be in the upper %. I would say that maybe 5% of the CK's I have been around get favored status that they don't deserve.
I think CKs have more to deal with than the typical player. Coach may be harder on them, the misperception they are getting favored treatment and having to listen to people (adults and/or players) complain about their coach who also happens to be their parent to just name a few. Mental toughness I would think would have to be developed at an early age. In our experience with multiple kids in varied sports, any CK has fully earned their playing time in our area.
HS Coaches' kids have a tougher path to go if they play the sport their parent coaches. They are held to a higher standard not only likely by their parent coach but everyone else's parents. A tough balancing act. The ones who would complain about something any way that just gives them something to latch on to if you have a parent coach/child combo on a team. The player, in particular, has little control over what happens other than to learn to deal with if they want to continue in that sport. It is unfair as evidenced by this even being a topic but it is what it is and likely makes the player a stronger person.
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PuxRinmyblood
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Great thread, and some excellent posts: My two cents:
First, Joe has one thing nailed that rarely gets considered. That parent who coaches is generally the person willing to organize all of the incredibly time consuming activities for not only their kid, but everyone elses (a fact which is too often forgotten by those who then turn on the coach and the CK ).
Regarding the CKs....
On the positive side, the majority of the CKs I've known are very solid kids, who given the choice would probably rather be coached by someone else, because not only are they held to a higher standard by their coach, but whatever they do well is second guessed or demeaned by those who think that their success is solely due to daddy being in charge. Because of this, they work very, very, very hard on and off the ice to overcome any misperceptions. CKs are also usually much smarter players than the average kid, because they get exposed to the game and it's finer points more often (presuming that the parent knows what they are talking about.), and never hear the end of it when they make mental mistakes.
On the negative side.....A (thankfully very small) portion of CKs you run into 1) have such problems being coached by their parent that they lead rebellions against the coach or act out in other horrible ways and turn into cancers. 2) Get the idea that somehow they are "co-coaches" and their suggestions deserve to be acted upon, or 3) have an horribly inflated sense of their self-worth because coach dad always tells them how great they are.
Unfortunately... At the youth levels, the vast majority of people qualified to coach, no matter how much they love the game, only put up with the hassles of it because they have a kid of theirs involved. So.....SOMEONE has to be the CK.
First, Joe has one thing nailed that rarely gets considered. That parent who coaches is generally the person willing to organize all of the incredibly time consuming activities for not only their kid, but everyone elses (a fact which is too often forgotten by those who then turn on the coach and the CK ).
Regarding the CKs....
On the positive side, the majority of the CKs I've known are very solid kids, who given the choice would probably rather be coached by someone else, because not only are they held to a higher standard by their coach, but whatever they do well is second guessed or demeaned by those who think that their success is solely due to daddy being in charge. Because of this, they work very, very, very hard on and off the ice to overcome any misperceptions. CKs are also usually much smarter players than the average kid, because they get exposed to the game and it's finer points more often (presuming that the parent knows what they are talking about.), and never hear the end of it when they make mental mistakes.
On the negative side.....A (thankfully very small) portion of CKs you run into 1) have such problems being coached by their parent that they lead rebellions against the coach or act out in other horrible ways and turn into cancers. 2) Get the idea that somehow they are "co-coaches" and their suggestions deserve to be acted upon, or 3) have an horribly inflated sense of their self-worth because coach dad always tells them how great they are.
Unfortunately... At the youth levels, the vast majority of people qualified to coach, no matter how much they love the game, only put up with the hassles of it because they have a kid of theirs involved. So.....SOMEONE has to be the CK.
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#1hockeymom
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CK'S
There are alot of great CK's out there, however it irks me to no end when I see an under classwomen/CK given opportunity after opportunity and does not get the job done. Tournament time is upon us and it is time to play your best hand. 
Love,
Mom :
Love,
Mom :
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keepitreal
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No offense, but I'm not sure what's worse, be it a CK who is given favor because of their position or a HP (hockey parent) who tries to validate their own ideas about how things should be run to the coach and the players with not-so-subtle communication through an internet message board. This kind of thing can tear a locker room apart just as easily. Calling out your coach is one thing, but I feel bad for any young player who is on the receiving end of this kind of public whipping, whether it's a valid point or not.
Again, no offense, but perhaps something to think about.
Again, no offense, but perhaps something to think about.
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#1hockeymom
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keepitreal wrote:No offense, but I'm not sure what's worse, be it a CK who is given favor because of their position or a HP (hockey parent) who tries to validate their own ideas about how things should be run to the coach and the players with not-so-subtle communication through an internet message board. This kind of thing can tear a locker room apart just as easily. Calling out your coach is one thing, but I feel bad for any young player who is on the receiving end of this kind of public whipping, whether it's a valid point or not.
Again, no offense, but perhaps something to think about.
Point well taken. I may have stepped off over the deep end on this one.
I think that sometimes family ties get in the way of talent on the team. I know many cases in which a coach's kid gets played more than a player who is more talented. This brings tension to the team, and in some cases can even destroy a team. It's not necessarily the kid's fault, but still is a problem. It also can give the kid false confidence. When the kid gets a new coach he/she may have a reality check. Just a thought...
This is very true .hockey157 wrote:I think that sometimes family ties get in the way of talent on the team. I know many cases in which a coach's kid gets played more than a player who is more talented. This brings tension to the team, and in some cases can even destroy a team. It's not necessarily the kid's fault, but still is a problem. It also can give the kid false confidence. When the kid gets a new coach he/she may have a reality check. Just a thought...
Sometimes coaches coach just so there kid can play more, I have seen this in other sports too not just hockey.
But these kids are simply just riding their success on there daddys coat tails. Then one day WHAM! reality check.
I think they are called Helicopter parents always hovering around trying to solve their kids problems not letting them learn on there own.
I think it can go either way.
I've coached my 3 daughters in hockey, soccer and softball and I can't tell you how many times they would ask how come they don't get to play as much as the other girls or how come they never get to start or how come they never get 1st pick of a number and being told it's because you're the coaches daughter.
Everyone pays an equal amount so I've always felt I had to make sure that there was no doubt the other kids played more. I don't coach anymore, and they play more.
My daughters have also played on teams where the coaches kid always start, always out on the power play, play at the end of games and do no wrong. We try to avoid these coaches/teams.
I've coached my 3 daughters in hockey, soccer and softball and I can't tell you how many times they would ask how come they don't get to play as much as the other girls or how come they never get to start or how come they never get 1st pick of a number and being told it's because you're the coaches daughter.
Everyone pays an equal amount so I've always felt I had to make sure that there was no doubt the other kids played more. I don't coach anymore, and they play more.
My daughters have also played on teams where the coaches kid always start, always out on the power play, play at the end of games and do no wrong. We try to avoid these coaches/teams.
I too know coaches like you, and my hat is off to all coaches who coach because they love the game!!! and personally I feel there are more good than bad. At least I can hope!!!Melvin44 wrote:I think it can go either way.
I've coached my 3 daughters in hockey, soccer and softball and I can't tell you how many times they would ask how come they don't get to play as much as the other girls or how come they never get to start or how come they never get 1st pick of a number and being told it's because you're the coaches daughter.
Everyone pays an equal amount so I've always felt I had to make sure that there was no doubt the other kids played more. I don't coach anymore, and they play more.
My daughters have also played on teams where the coaches kid always start, always out on the power play, play at the end of games and do no wrong. We try to avoid these coaches/teams.
To simply blow a coach out of the water because they have a kid on the team might be one of the most short sighted things I have ever heard of! There are countless numbers of coaches out there with incredible backgrounds, knowledge, and quality reputations that have coached, and are currently coaching teams that their own kids play for.
This inference is rediculous. If any of you would rather have little Susie or Johnny developed by some mediocre individual over a highly qualified, and proven leader simply because they have a kid on the team.......WOW!
In any given instance, you will always have exceptions that give creedence to your point, but to make a blanket statement like this for all coaches doesn't fly with me.
Ponder this for a minute......where would the quality level of the girls game be today if every parent coach was never given an opportunity?
This inference is rediculous. If any of you would rather have little Susie or Johnny developed by some mediocre individual over a highly qualified, and proven leader simply because they have a kid on the team.......WOW!
In any given instance, you will always have exceptions that give creedence to your point, but to make a blanket statement like this for all coaches doesn't fly with me.
Ponder this for a minute......where would the quality level of the girls game be today if every parent coach was never given an opportunity?
Coaches have kids....if their kids play the sport they coach do they then have to quit coaching? Sorry Mr. Smith you no longer are our coach because your daughter, Susie is going to play hockey. This makes no sense to me!
If the coach does their job well it should not matter whether they have a child on the team or not.
If the coach does their job well it should not matter whether they have a child on the team or not.
I agree, but what many of us are saying is that coaches tend to play their kids more and favor them more. But, if the Coach can be a coach during hockey, without favoring their child- and put family ties aside, and be a father at home, then that's different.SportsMa wrote:Coaches have kids....if their kids play the sport they coach do they then have to quit coaching? Sorry Mr. Smith you no longer are our coach because your daughter, Susie is going to play hockey. This makes no sense to me!
If the coach does their job well it should not matter whether they have a child on the team or not.
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Hockeylegacy17
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I agree that players parents should not be able to coach during the highschool league. I have been around hockey for many years and have both experienced and observed the faults of parents coaching their kids. In many cases their parents' coaching brings in personal accomplishments that they want to live through their kids. Since they are coaching they now have the power to give the children the advantages they didn't have like playing more often(power plays,pks,etc.)then other players who deserve it more.
Guess we have just had different experiences....our multiple kids who have played a variety of sports have had coaches that were parents and they have been good to great coaches and did not show favoritism. They have been very committed to the community, program and the team development in our experiences for which we should be more thankful after reading some others' experiences.
Still think the person in the toughest position is the coach's kid as clearly since this is a thread, whether perceived or real, they seem to be held to different standard by others.
Still think the person in the toughest position is the coach's kid as clearly since this is a thread, whether perceived or real, they seem to be held to different standard by others.
Of the 2 dozen or so different coaches over 9 years in multiple sports that my kid has had, I would guess that it has only been about 3 coaches that were in it to Simply help their kid along, and almost all of them had kids on the team. So as far as I am concerned If a coach is in it to teach the game to all of the kids equally, then let them coach.
I have even heard where a coach changed the style of play in Basket ball so his kid could play more. She was too slow to play Man to Man.
It kind of irked some parents to say the least.
I have even heard where a coach changed the style of play in Basket ball so his kid could play more. She was too slow to play Man to Man.
It kind of irked some parents to say the least.
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Norcon Imperial
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I agree 100% with what you have stated, I just wish this would be read by coaches that coach there own kids. Maybe it will!!!!Hockeylegacy17 wrote:I agree that players parents should not be able to coach during the highschool league. I have been around hockey for many years and have both experienced and observed the faults of parents coaching their kids. In many cases their parents' coaching brings in personal accomplishments that they want to live through their kids. Since they are coaching they now have the power to give the children the advantages they didn't have like playing more often(power plays,pks,etc.)then other players who deserve it more.