Gogophersguy,GoGophersGuy wrote:See below, best post I have seen on it from last year. Wish I knew who to give credit to as I do not.
It seems that every year about this time we start hearing about playing time issues on teams. Moms and Dads who worry way to much about their kids feelings start making noise around the rink and the next thing you know players attitudes get worse, the team gets worse and nobody is happy. Oh, of course they were thrilled when their little guy made the best team even though he was a 'bubble' player. But, about this time, they want more than to just be on the best team; they want to be on the best line on the best team and, just in case they aren't, they want to make sure the coaches play everyone equally.
Don't get me wrong, I'm all for relatively equal playing time for most levels of youth hockey (B & C teams and all Squirt teams) but at the top levels, Bantam A, B1 and Peewee A, there has to be a point where you start teaching the kids about playing on a 'team' and not about individual playing time. The best associations recognize this and their teams have great success because the coaches, players and parents know that playing time will be fair, not equal, and they all except and support that. I've also seen some coaches who shorten the bench all the time and never work with certain kids at practices on learning skills necessary for the game. Associations need to identify these coaches and get rid of them. The best coaches make every effort to make sure they are teaching all of the kids every facet of the game. The part that most parents can't understand is that one facet of the game is teaching them about being a good teammate and understanding their role on the team. I really believe that most kids are okay with this whole playing time issue until they get in the car after the game and the parents are grilling them with questions about why they weren't playing as much. After enough grilling sessions a kid is bound to start feeling like he is a failure because his parents aren't happy. Gradually his attitude gets bad and starts to poison the entire team. What the parent doesn't know is that maybe the kid felt great coming out of the locker room because the coach pumped him up about a great shift he had or something else that helped the 'team' have success. All of that positive energy goes down the crapper because these parents think a good stopwatch is more important than good coaching skills.
On every team, there are players who are better at certain things than others and I think it is important that kids and their parents learn that that's okay. Every kid should feel that if they work hard and improve their skills enough, they may earn those chances but they should also learn that it is okay, for now, that someone else is better at it and be willing to root for the 'teams' success. A good coach will work with everyone on all skills at practice but at critical times in games, a good 'team' player will WANT the best kids on the ice to try and win the game. That may be the little guy whose good around the net or the big guy who can play physical and block shots...it should depend on the game situation and the coaches decision (not on how much time player A has played compared to player B). Otherwise, why even have a coach. Just let someone open the gate and let the kids out and have another person there to run the stopwatches.
The biggest difference on playing time typically revolves around powerplays and penalty kill situations and it really works the parents up when there kid is not a part of it. At the highest levels, these are also the critical points of the game and usually make the difference between winning and losing. Isn't youth hockey a great place to teach kids that the 'team' should come first? I am tired of hearing parents complain about their kid not being on the powerplay or penalty kill in a critical game situation when they know that their kid is not the best player for that situation. Do you want your kids to fail? Do you want the team to lose? Do you want your kid to be the reason your team lost? I've seen fantastic teams get destroyed because for one weekend a coach tried moving some different kids onto the powerplay line. The parents whose kids were moved off it couldn't deal with it and let it get the better of them. A week later the team unity that had been worked on for nearly 3 months was gone and the team was destined for failure. What life lesson have you taught the kids then?
Again, the best coaches will find times to let every kid play in powerplay or penalty kill situations (at practice and in games where you have a lead) but I think it is important that kids learn to deal with, and accept, the fact that there are others who may be better than them at certain things, for now. Hopefully these kids are stronger at some other skill and will have their chances. If not, hopefully they will want to work hard to get better so they can earn their way into those places. Our society is so busy making sure that we don't do anything to hurt a kids feelings (ie. everyone gets a trophy, everyone's a 'winner', etc.) that we have created kids who aren't prepared for the real world that is ahead for them. Hard work, good effort, patience and being a team player is ultimately how you have success in this world and the sport of hockey can teach kids that if the parents will let it.
Go Blaine!
Go Gophers!
Go Wild!
I appreciate that you liked my post enough to reprint it again. It's funny that the issue has come up again at almost the exact same time as last year (12/9/07).
The issue will obviously never be resolved (see above posts showing all the differences) but hopefully we can ALL agree that there is no value in poisoning the team by being negative as parents. Do our best to support our kids and help them understand their role on the team. Try not to let this issue destroy the team chemistry by being negative about the coach, the program or the other players. That should apply whenever you are watching in the stands at the rink, hanging out after the game with other parents, partying at the team hotel during a tournament and, most especially, while you are driving your player home from the games.
If we all try our best to be upbeat and positive, who knows, maybe the kids will remember that being a part of a team is a big part of hockey and that it can be fun whether they play perfectly equal shifts or not!