Storm'n Sabres Girls Hockey

[hockeynascar]

I've never come across a group of more cowardly parents. Not one parent is willing to step up and make a complaint against the head coach. For fear of the coach punishing their daughter. How does one justify teaching their child that it is more important not to make "waves", rather than to report the emotional abuse that is going on. It only takes one brave person to "step up". I feel sorry for the girl who's parents are forcing her to stay on the team, because their business is more important than her "feelings". How does that converstion go? "I'm sorry that you are being intimidated but you just need to go to practice and keep quiet, because we can't take the chance that we might lose business if we tell the truth." "I'm sorry honey keeping your spot on varsity is more important than your emotional well being." WOW! I'm saddened by the society we are letting our children grow up in. How can can you teach your child that it is alright to "look the other way". Isn't is supposed to begin with the parents? You wouldn't let your child be bullied at school by another child would you? Then why would you let a coach bully your child.

[observer]

Cuz it's Friday can you give us some details. Interesting post but it's hard to translate what you're attempting to say.

[hockeynascar]

This has nothing to do with not making the Varsity squad. These girls are already on Varsity and get plenty of fair play time. The coach has been treating some of the girls inappropriately simply because he doesn't like them. The parents won't come forward, because they don't want their daughter to be demoted to JV squad for coming forward and speaking out about what the coach is doing. It is a form of discrimination, bullying, harrassment, and intimidation. It is interesting that the schools try to promote their own anti-bullying, ant-discrimination policies, yet they aren't willing to look into a situation unless the parents are willing to stand up and voice their concerns. The parents are intimidated and the schools will not let them come forward anonymously. Well, who wants to call attention to themselves for being a "snitch"?

[observer]

What/where is a Storm'n/Sabre

[inthestands]

Well, who wants to call attention to themselves for being a "snitch"?

If that's my child, and the "accusations" are truths, the last thing I'm going to worry about is what anyone else thinks.

First stop is to speak with the coach "if that's their policy", and if there is no positive result, next stop is the AD.

Either the issues are not as you are laying them out, or there is something wrong with the players parents worrying about something other than their daughters well being.

I'd have to agree with not allowing annonymous complaints. That would almost be like posting a problem on a message board with fuzzy details and asking for someone to be reprimanded.. Too easy for non truths to be thrown around with little to no responsibility to prove wrong doing.

[hockeya1a]

What/where is a Storm'n/Sabre

SARTELL/SAUK RAPIDS STORMIN SABRES ?

[Homer]

It seems like this was started mid conversation

[Roman Legion]

If my memory serves this is the second year of this coach? Is this correct? Appears as though this guy has done lots of damage in a short period of time.

Or could it possibly be something else. I know they put the last coach through the ringer with constant harrassment and eventually a lawsuit.

This guy might want to get out to save his own sanity. This sounds to me like a toxic program. Maybe the parents should take it over (all of them) and they can get trophies for all of the athletes, praise them for below average play, and cap the season with a group hug. Not really helping the kids for after school. This sounds like helicopter and seagull parents all wrapped into one.

Season just started. Have a great one! Could be a long year.

[Rocketwrister]

Seriously? Start posting your name or stop with the anonymous posts.

[momissi]

I am a parent of a Storm' Sabres hockey player. In posting this you are completely undoing what the some of us are trying to do and that is to unite the team. You are only putting a bigger wedge between the players, parents and coaches. That is the one thing that our girls lack.............team unity! It needs to start with us, the parents. We are their examples! The sooner we grow up and realize that, the better off our girls will be. If these accusations are true, this is not the place to be bringing them up. You need to not be such a coward and personally speak with these invididuals involved. You are only making our team more divided by posting this here. I'm not saying that you are right or wrong, I'm just saying that this isn't the place!

[momissi]

Hi, I am a player on this team and I felt the need to make a reply.

First of all, by posting this, you are causing more problems for the team. Teams should not anonymously be posting accusations, true or not, on forums for the entire world to see. If there really is a problem, please bring it up with the people involved, privately. This only creates more of those "waves" you have mentioned, and divides the team more. If you want the team to become a team, feedback from others not involved isn't helping. It only creates a bad reputation for the years to come, and it's embarrassing for the players. As I said, if there is a problem, we would love to fix it in the correct manner.

Second, our coaches are in no way demeaning. I played for the old coach for 1 year, and I can honestly say that only positives have been brought from the new staff. Yes, no coach is perfect; sorry, hate to break it to everyone. Kids will play based on their performance, effort, and attitude. I have seen multiple people move "up and down" lines based on these 3 things. I personally have approached the coaches and asked what it is that I can improve on, because I felt that I could be playing with people above me. They gave me an honest answer and I accepted it. The coaches will tell you. I think a lot of times players are screwing off and the coaches get mad and yell at them. I don't consider this bullying in any way. Every player should come ready to learn and be attentive, and if they're not, a coach has every right to be angry. This is the only thing I have ever seen, in regards to coaches yelling at the kids.

Third, this is NOT the parent's job to solve this. Herein lies the problem with our team. Players tell their parents things, true or not, and the parent's carry out the "dirty work". We don't need a hundred battles going on behind-the-scenes with parents vs. players. I'm not against sharing things with parents, but if the child is truly having a problem, they need to be the ones to take the first step. If nothing is done, then yes, the parents can get involved. By acting for them, you aren't showing them the real world! Support them along the way, and let them learn to solve some things on their own. Some parents have a tendency to take matters into their own hands and make rude and inappropriate comments to other players themselves. This is not correct, in any way.

Fourth, if parent's are supposed to set a good example, why are they telling their child to keep playing when they don't want to?? Whatever business this is, if there's a good relationship between it and the team, I don't think it will lose business just because the daughter didn't want to play anymore. Making accusations like these, on the other hand, may.

Finally, you are using very harsh words, especially if you are not a direct observer of these "acts". I am there everyday and I know that the coaches do not bully anyone on this team. Sometimes players skew things or perceive them the wrong way. And sometimes the coaches don't bring them across correctly. Either way, no one is perfect. As for player bullying, I know there are a select few people involved in this. I can honestly say that the team is taking HUGE steps into solving this problem. In years past, there was no team unity between players themselves, and the coaches and parents. We are changing this and taking tremendous strides to keep a positive, welcoming "family" atmosphere. If there truly is a problem, please bring it to attention on the team, instead of posting accusations here. It defeats everything that we are trying to incorporate to this team. Thank you

[State Champ 97]

Well said Momissi. Very insightful and mature. Good luck with your season.

[inthestands]

this is NOT the parent's job to solve this.
Very good insight. Maybe you could teach hockey parents a thing or two.

Although you have a great post laying out many team details, I would caution your involvement in message board back and forth.

Every time there is a sensitive issue dealt with on a message board, the participants are made up mostly of people that have little or no direct knowlege of what's happening. Many of them also enjoy stirring the pot and getting others whipped up into a frenzy.

Dealing with team issues amongst the team is a great idea. Good luck with your season, and sorting out any team problems.

[northerngal65]

Along this same topic, is it ok for a male coach to meet with a female athlete, in private, one-on-one? Many parents of the team have vented over many an "incident" that the coach has done in the past but the coach continues on his merry way molding some of the girls into "mini-coach". I believe the coach has been talked to many times by parents and he continues to remain in the head coach position. I believe the AD has also been involved and even the school board. Parents have now stated that the girls on the team need to bond together by going to the AD to discuss the innappropriate behavior. I don't know if the head coach doesn't even know how his behavior is effecting the team nor if he thinks it is exceptable (which I guess it must be if nothing has been done over the last 2 seasons). The sad thing is even the OTHER coaches are now "joking" about some of his recent discretions. No one is willing to stick their necks out as was stated earlier in this post; they don't want their daughter to be "penalized" by the head coach. It has been frustrating and it is so sad to see so much talent held prisoner by a dispicable human being (head coach). I am beyond disgusted and I can only teach my daughter right from wrong. I am really unsure what can be done or what should be done. Would really appreciate comments.....

[SportsMa]

Use the appropriate school channels NOT this forum.

[inthestands]

Use the appropriate school channels NOT this forum.

Agreed.

Person to person is best.

If nothing is changing after discussion, either the problems aren't as serious as you think or things need to move up the food chain to the next level.

[intuit]

northerngal65,

Those are some awefully bold accusations. I agree with the others in saying that this is not the place to file complaints.

My question is, are you talking about the coach at Sartell/Sauk Rapids or are you talking about a coach somewhere else? It seems as though you aren't from the Sartell/Sauk Rapids area and therefore if you're talking about a coach elsewhere, perhaps there is a better place to post. At least clarify.

My advice to all involved in any association is don't post accusations or complaints here, it will only make the situation worse, and if you have a certain player or teams best interests in mind, you are simply making the situation worse for said player or team.

[inthestands]

northerngal65,

Those are some awefully bold accusations. I agree with the others in saying that this is not the place to file complaints.

My question is, are you talking about the coach at Sartell/Sauk Rapids or are you talking about a coach somewhere else? It seems as though you aren't from the Sartell/Sauk Rapids area and therefore if you're talking about a coach elsewhere, perhaps there is a better place to post. At least clarify.

My advice to all involved in any association is don't post accusations or complaints here, it will only make the situation worse, and if you have a certain player or teams best interests in mind, you are simply making the situation worse for said player or team.

With the above post in mind, please do not comment on the specifics. Deal with them locally and leave the detail off message boards.

[intuit]

northerngal65,

Those are some awefully bold accusations. I agree with the others in saying that this is not the place to file complaints.

My question is, are you talking about the coach at Sartell/Sauk Rapids or are you talking about a coach somewhere else? It seems as though you aren't from the Sartell/Sauk Rapids area and therefore if you're talking about a coach elsewhere, perhaps there is a better place to post. At least clarify.

My advice to all involved in any association is don't post accusations or complaints here, it will only make the situation worse, and if you have a certain player or teams best interests in mind, you are simply making the situation worse for said player or team.

With the above post in mind, please do not comment on the specifics. Deal with them locally and leave the detail off message boards.

Inthestands,

You're correct. In fact the whole post should be just removed.

[northerngal65]

northerngal65,

Those are some awefully bold accusations. I agree with the others in saying that this is not the place to file complaints.

My question is, are you talking about the coach at Sartell/Sauk Rapids or are you talking about a coach somewhere else? It seems as though you aren't from the Sartell/Sauk Rapids area and therefore if you're talking about a coach elsewhere, perhaps there is a better place to post. At least clarify.

My advice to all involved in any association is don't post accusations or complaints here, it will only make the situation worse, and if you have a certain player or teams best interests in mind, you are simply making the situation worse for said player or team.

No, not this program. Just trying to find out if it is acceptable, as a male head coach, to meet with a female athlete, in private (didn't intend to use the forum as a complaint and I probably shouldn't have rambled on). l will be following up with the proper channels but was hoping someone may know if this is somewhere in writing (mshsl) or if this is acceptable. Don't mean to create any more issues as there are already enough going on. Would not discuss details BECAUSE of those that are directly involved so no need to worry on that one. Thank you for the input and I will not post again regarding any of this. I didn't mean to hurt or offend anyone and I truly appologize if I have done that.

[hockeywild7]

There is no written MSHSL rule regarding meeting with players. Common sense should prevail. Never have one on one meetings behind closed doors. This subject should not be discussed on a forum, go talk with your athletic director, or other administrators with your concerns. Nothing is going to be solved by bringing this to a forum, if anything it will make things worse.

[fivehole628]

The head coach of this team has done nothing wrong. He treats the players fairly and does not favor anyone. This whole conversation is irrelevant to this team's problems...