How to destroy a 9-year-old

[hardwater fan]

Witnessed this at the rink this past weekend:

Midwest Selects Minor Squirt final game.

One team rostered a replacement goalie at the last minute. Don't know why...assuming the other goalie pulled out. The kid's name didn't even appear in the program.

The tournament apparently has a rule that each team must rotate their two goalies equally. (games are played with 2 halves instead of periods).

The South team played their stronger goalie in the first half and built a huge lead. In the 2nd half, the second goalie played. A smaller kid who looked like he hadn't put the pads on too many times.

Although the lead was never less than 5 or 6 goals, the West team scored on the first 5 shots against the second goalie. The poor kid was melting down with each shot. It was hard not to feel bad for him. In a classy move, the South coach pulled him out and brought him to the bench and hugged him and put the first goalie back in. (at this point, the lead is still 5 or 6 goals). The West coaches started yelling and jumping up and down screaming to the refs to force the South to put the goalie back in. This went on for an uncomfortable few minutes while the refs and scorekeeper checked the rules. Meanwhile, the West parents joined the coaches in yelling for the other goalie (who had his head down, being consoled by his coach) to be put back in. The refs verified the rule and instructed the South coach to switch his goalies back. The West coaches and parents started cheering and yelling at the South coaches for "trying to cheat". The poor little kid came out of the box and made the LONG skate back to his net (tripping and falling and dropping his stick along the way). Couldn't see, but I'm sure there were tears.

The final score was lopsided and never in doubt....15-7 I believe. I don't know the kid, don't know if he left the rink in tears or not, but I am ashamed of the West coaches and some of the parents. Sometimes, you need to look at yourself and be aware of what is going on. We all get a little stupid when it comes to our kids and hockey, but its a good idea for all of us to keep a little perspective.

[This is nuts!]

Sad, but not surprising.

I will say this, coaches did have to know that the kid was going to get shelled and they shouldn't have put him in that position in a "select" tourny.

[jpiehl]

Well, not to sound callous, but if that is what the rules say then that is what they say. You can't just get rid of offsides because one kid has trouble with it either. But the real blame here goes on whoever put this kid who apparently could barely skate into a 'selects' tournament in the first place and put him in that situation. Although if your account of the game is correct, he rebounded nicely after going back in and only let in two more goals and won the game, so he probably wasn't feeling too bad at the end.

[JSR]

Honestly, the South coach did have another option. He could have forfeited the game. If the kid was in that much of a shambles and you are genuinely concerned for this kid's mental health and the choice is either he has to go back in or forfeit the game then maybe forfeiting would have been the humane thing for the kid and might have actually drove home the point to the West parents that hardwater fan is trying to make. Just a thought......

[puckhead58]

And people wonder why it's so hard to find good goalies & why most kids want nothing to do with the position..... Would not wish that on any kid.

Also, goalie parents know what their kids can handle (it was probably apparent in the warm ups to all the other parents), he should have never been put in a position he wasn't ready for (selects tourney).

[ThePuckStopsHere]

And people wonder why it's so hard to find good goalies & why most kids want nothing to do with the position..... Would not wish that on any kid.

Also, goalie parents know what their kids can handle (it was probably apparent in the warm ups to all the other parents), he should have never been put in a position he wasn't ready for (selects tourney).

This say's more about how these Tournament Titles are a joke more than anything. Throwing out the term Selects is a total joke. These tournametns are about one thing and its MONEY MONEY - MONEY

[C-dad]

Honestly, the South coach did have another option. He could have forfeited the game. If the kid was in that much of a shambles and you are genuinely concerned for this kid's mental health and the choice is either he has to go back in or forfeit the game then maybe forfeiting would have been the humane thing for the kid and might have actually drove home the point to the West parents that hardwater fan is trying to make. Just a thought......

He could have put out 6 skaters, right?

[The Enlightened One]

Honestly, the South coach did have another option. He could have forfeited the game. If the kid was in that much of a shambles and you are genuinely concerned for this kid's mental health and the choice is either he has to go back in or forfeit the game then maybe forfeiting would have been the humane thing for the kid and might have actually drove home the point to the West parents that hardwater fan is trying to make. Just a thought......

He could have put out 6 skaters, right?

Nothing says supportive things to a nine year old goalie better than, hey, go have a seat, we are better off with nobody in the net than having you in it. Ouch.

[BadgerBob82]

Ha. Always start your weaker goalie first. Midwest Super-Duper Selects coach should have known that.

[black sheep]

Honestly, the South coach did have another option. He could have forfeited the game. If the kid was in that much of a shambles and you are genuinely concerned for this kid's mental health and the choice is either he has to go back in or forfeit the game then maybe forfeiting would have been the humane thing for the kid and might have actually drove home the point to the West parents that hardwater fan is trying to make. Just a thought......

He could have put out 6 skaters, right?

6 skaters is the right answer.

[skipperj]

You don't hug the kid, you yell at him to suck it up and be a man. You're embarrassing boy!

[intothezone]

It's always easy to blame the "other guy", but what is the parents responsibility (or coach)? One would think a parent would not have his child swim in a 100 meter race if he could not swim (only using example because of Olympics). Why on earth would you have your kid participate in a "selects" tourny when he can't even skate back to the net? I hate to be harsh, as I feel bad for the little guy. It's not his fault the adults in his life made a very poor choice. He should have never been there in the first place. So who really is destroying his future? Only basing my opinion on the original post as I was not there to witness it. Just something to think about.

[skipperj]

For all you bleeding hearts out there, i was just joking. But isn't that what elite, aaa, summer hockey is all about, win at all cost.

[dlow]

if he is like most 9 year olds then he had moved on by the next day. This sounds unfortunate but is not the end of the world -- I doubt he was destroyed.

If he normally skates out, at least he got to see what goalie is like, since so many kids don't get to try it these days because of scared parents or early specialization at the position.

[Livingthedream10]

I am the head coach of the West team that this hardwaterfan is talking about. It saddens me that a person would post something that is not factual online for others to read.

I was a non parent coach for this team, that coaches hockey to help advance players to the next level of hockey and help players learn to love the game. I am also a follower of the Positive Coaching Alliance and have read all of their books and use it in my coaching. So the last thing that I would ever do in a hockey game of nine year olds is yell at the refs or promote that kind of behavior.

The fact is we actually played the south team that we were playing in the championship the day before and the game ended 5-4, so this was a rematch between the two teams. After the first half that ended 4-2, and was very much a close game, we both had to change our goalies. The South team came out and scored six quick goals, In about seven minutes and we scored one, making the score 10-3. I called a time out to try to slow down their momentum and talk to our West players. This was our second goalies fastest paced tournent that he had participated in. I took the time out time to talk with him as well, make sure he was ok, and try and get out players fired up.

After our time out we scored four goals on five shots over the next five minutes. That put the score at 10-7. Still a very healthy lead, and still not as many goals scored on their second goalie as ours. The South team decided to try and switch out their goalie and put their starter back in. I motioned for the ref to come over to me and made sure he knew the rules. At no time was I yelling at the ref, he told the other coach he had to put the other goalie back in. There were parents yelling from the stands from both teams the whole game, not just at this time, that is something for another discussion.

The bottom line is rules are rules, the South coach new the rules and should not have subjected his player to this situation. Also winning at all costs is not something that should take place at this age level of players. This is a time for learning and skill development. The players development and well being should be put above a coaches or parents desire to win.

[MWS coach]

There are always two sides to every coin.

I was on the bench for the MWS south squirt minor team.

It always amazes me how people on this board make conclusions and comments on scenarios they know nothing about.

First off as far as the kid being on a select team.
1) the staff had not seen him play, he was a replacement for a late cancel and was recommended by a well known local goalie coach.
2) for those of you that are so short sighted and quickly say he shouldn't have been out there, keep in mind this was his fourth half of the weekend, he was fine in the other three.
3) yes he did not have a lot of experience playing goalie and my guess is this was his first experience playing goalie in a championship game (especially at that high of a level)
4) he had a bad day, as we all know when you have a bad day as a goalie, everyone knows it.
5) he was very nervous going in. When I asked him if he was ready he said "I am really nervous coach"

Most importantly, the kid was smiling when he was on the ice receiving his championship t-shirt and was also smiling and having fun in the locker room with his championship teammates!

Lastly, LTD10 - it saddens me that you post on here what the south coach knew or didn't know about the rules. The kid was struggling and I knew he was nervous going in. The outcome of the game was never in doubt in my mind. To say he was pulled to try and win at all costs is just flat out wrong. If that were the case, my guess is the staff would have decided to go with 6 skaters.... What was the final? 14-7... South had more goals 14 then west had shots 12 as my nine year old pointed out to me...

[ThePuckStopsHere]

There are always two sides to every coin.

I was on the bench for the MWS south squirt minor team.

It always amazes me how people on this board make conclusions and comments on scenarios they know nothing about.

First off as far as the kid being on a select team.
1) the staff had not seen him play, he was a replacement for a late cancel and was recommended by a well known local goalie coach.
2) for those of you that are so short sighted and quickly say he shouldn't have been out there, keep in mind this was his fourth half of the weekend, he was fine in the other three.
3) yes he did not have a lot of experience playing goalie and my guess is this was his first experience playing goalie in a championship game (especially at that high of a level)
4) he had a bad day, as we all know when you have a bad day as a goalie, everyone knows it.
5) he was very nervous going in. When I asked him if he was ready he said "I am really nervous coach"

Most importantly, the kid was smiling when he was on the ice receiving his championship t-shirt and was also smiling and having fun in the locker room with his championship teammates!

Lastly, LTD10 - it saddens me that you post on here what the south coach knew or didn't know about the rules. The kid was struggling and I knew he was nervous going in. The outcome of the game was never in doubt in my mind. To say he was pulled to try and win at all costs is just flat out wrong. If that were the case, my guess is the staff would have decided to go with 6 skaters.... What was the final? 14-7... South had more goals 14 then west had shots 12 as my nine year old pointed out to me...

Brilliant! You have a bright future in coaching mid level hockey

[Goaliedad7]

This is really sad that this would be carried on almost a week after this tournament ended. Hardwaterfan's interpretation of what happened could not be any more false. In defense of the coach of the west (yes, I was there) he did not at any point yell at the ref or become dramatic in any way. He was in fact smiling at the attempt to switch goalies. I would be more concerned about the confidence of that 9 yr old boy who the south coach tried to pull with a three goal lead, not to mention control of the game. In my opinion, one should ask why does a nine yr old hockey game mean so much that we'd pull that kid? Essentially telling him we have no faith in him? Besides, the West team was struggling even clearing the zone. As the South coach that posted here said he never felt the game was in jeopardy, so why pull that little kid? Show an example of sportsmanship, to that goalie and his team mates, How about leaving him in and rallying his team around a struggling goalie? Hopefully all the parents that this squirt tournament meant so much to will remember this tournament when there boys are in the NHL. After all that's where they're all going, right? One final thought here. Take it back a notch, this is a bunch of boys playing a game. the parents are destined to ruin it for them.