Are ya coming back next year?

[JoltDelivered]

Can we be realistic for just one moment?

Most AAA teams were not created for your son's development. They say they are, that's how they hook you. The fact is they need your son for the team or program to exist, but they may not need to play your son for the team or program to thrive. And make no bones about it - AAA teams need to thrive or they die on the vine very, very quickly.

Here is a question to ponder:
How many elite players would sign up for the Blades or Machine if they took 5th, 6th or 7th in every tournament they played in?

There is no better recruiting tool in AAA hockey than wins. Marquis tournament wins are even better (Brick, Prospects, etc...). Programs must post wins to attract kids, at least the top level kids.

You will find as you travel up through the ranks of AAA hockey that not even every parent cares about the development. They say they do because it's fashionable to say that. It's what they are supposed to say out loud, society dictates it. However, deep down inside, at those corner tables in the tournament hotel bars, parents want to win as bad as the coaches. They demonstrate it every time when they open their mouths and say, "Why do they have that kid out there in that situation?" or "I can't beleive we didn't beat that team 10-0!" or "The coach shortened the bench way too late!" These conversation happen at every level, mites on up. But I agree, probably wane into the bantam years when parents become more realistic about their own son's place in the hockey world.

So for those of you parents who didn't get what you were promised or wanted, I applaud you for leaving.

I will leave you with this:
When I attended my very first AAA hcokey meeting about 5 or 6 years ago, the coach addressed the potential group of parents. I say potential because it was a tryout. Kids were on the ice, parents were jammed into a stuffy meeting room at an old hockey rink. The coach covered many topics that evening, most of it marketing a self promotion, but one piece of dialouge has stuck with me ever since.

He said (I'm paraphrasing):
There is no loyalty in AAA hockey everyone. We are here to complete at the highest level. If your son makes it, don't feel you have to be loyal to this program for the next 6 years because I guarentee if your son makes this team and we find later he can't perform at this level, I won't be loyal to him! It is every man for himself.

[royals dad]

Jolt - extremely good post, insightful and well thought out. Thanks.

[Pens4]

Having just completed the boys side AAA run with a 94' son...I have posted this before but as a parent you need to ask the coach or organization leader one question: Is there equal icetime for everyone?

At no time should a coach shorten the bench during the summer. PERIOD !! If your kids was accepted on the team, he or she is there because the coach think they belong.

The whole AAA experience can be great !! Creating Friends that cross city borders but there's a period where it becomes fanatical for parents and the coach's...it typically from the end of the squirt year through peewee's.

Ask that question and you'll get what you want...icetime.

I totally and respectfully disagree. In no way shape or form are all the selected players equal or are they playing equal in each game. If by shortening the bench in a do or die semi final game in the last period means another game of hockey for the whole team then, I will do so! If one players play is way off for a particular game or if one player is taking alot of selfish penalties I will most definitely give that boy a seat and some time to think about his actions! It is not fair to the rest of the team to have a player or players hurt the rest of their team for selfish reasons. Why do they deserve the same amount of ice time in that particular instance as the rest of the team?
I dont believe in doing it at the beginning of the game or anything stupid like that. THere is a time and a place for bench shortening. I very seldom do it but if it is for the better of the team then I will do it with in reason.

That is the exact coaching philosophy that drives me crazy. You bench a kid because he isn't motivated, isn't playing well, is taking stupid penalties. What exactly is your role on the team again ????

At what point might you try to actually coach the kids up a little? A kid plays bad you bench him...ever thought about trying to either motivate him or how about settle him down because he gets too fired up? Have you ever told a kid that is play horribly to completely simplify his game for the next 2 shifts until he finds his game?

Show me a coach that sits someone who is playing bad and I'll show you a coach that is over his head.

[play4fun]

Having just completed the boys side AAA run with a 94' son...I have posted this before but as a parent you need to ask the coach or organization leader one question: Is there equal icetime for everyone?

At no time should a coach shorten the bench during the summer. PERIOD !! If your kids was accepted on the team, he or she is there because the coach think they belong.

The whole AAA experience can be great !! Creating Friends that cross city borders but there's a period where it becomes fanatical for parents and the coach's...it typically from the end of the squirt year through peewee's.

Ask that question and you'll get what you want...icetime.

I totally and respectfully disagree. In no way shape or form are all the selected players equal or are they playing equal in each game. If by shortening the bench in a do or die semi final game in the last period means another game of hockey for the whole team then, I will do so! If one players play is way off for a particular game or if one player is taking alot of selfish penalties I will most definitely give that boy a seat and some time to think about his actions! It is not fair to the rest of the team to have a player or players hurt the rest of their team for selfish reasons. Why do they deserve the same amount of ice time in that particular instance as the rest of the team?
I dont believe in doing it at the beginning of the game or anything stupid like that. THere is a time and a place for bench shortening. I very seldom do it but if it is for the better of the team then I will do it with in reason.

That is the exact coaching philosophy that drives me crazy. You bench a kid because he isn't motivated, isn't playing well, is taking stupid penalties. What exactly is your role on the team again ????

At what point might you try to actually coach the kids up a little? A kid plays bad you bench him...ever thought about trying to either motivate him or how about settle him down because he gets too fired up? Have you ever told a kid that is play horribly to completely simplify his game for the next 2 shifts until he finds his game?

Show me a coach that sits someone who is playing bad and I'll show you a coach that is over his head.

1st offense: "Johnny, when you hit another kid with your stick, that's slashing. Keep your stick down, okay?"

2nd offense: "Johnny, hitting another kid in the back of the legs with your stick isn't okay. Yes, you did keep your stick down that time, but you need to hit the puck, not the other player."

3rd offense: "Where's Pens4 when I need him. I'm clearly over my head cause I want to bench this kid for a shift."

[CoachMan]

Unbelievable. Some of you are so quick to jump to conclusions. You call people idiots, over your head etc with out having a hot clue about any of the circumstances. The original post I responded to said under any circumstances! Maybe benched was the wrong word. I have "sat" kids for not working hard. This doesn't mean after one or two shifts without consult, no this is over a period of time in a game when nothing else seems to work. Guess what, missing a shift does help!
Don't ever accuse me of not coaching the kids! I am determined to get every last bit out of each and every child. I have years of coaching experience and take real offence to your unfounded accusations!
SOme poeple only read on here what they want to read! Instead of automatically assuming the worst, why not try and expand on the thoughts and discuss rather than jump all over people.
For the record I have shortened my bench for only roughly 5 minutes total out of 35 games this spring. I have sat a kid for not putting forward the proper effort, for too many stupid selfish penalties and for a real bad attitude. This is used as a last resort.
For the record, I do go to tournaments and we coach to win and have fun. Why the heck else do we go to a tournament? If we have some blow out games, guess what, the weaker players get alot more ice time then the better players.
Let me ask you "equal ice time supporters at all times" people this question. Do you believe in power play units or penalty killing units? In a 5 on 3 situation against you do you believe in rolling through the kids or do you get somewhat selective?

[HockeyDad41]

I totally and respectfully disagree. In no way shape or form are all the selected players equal or are they playing equal in each game. If by shortening the bench in a do or die semi final game in the last period means another game of hockey for the whole team then, I will do so! If one players play is way off for a particular game or if one player is taking alot of selfish penalties I will most definitely give that boy a seat and some time to think about his actions! It is not fair to the rest of the team to have a player or players hurt the rest of their team for selfish reasons. Why do they deserve the same amount of ice time in that particular instance as the rest of the team?
I dont believe in doing it at the beginning of the game or anything stupid like that. THere is a time and a place for bench shortening. I very seldom do it but if it is for the better of the team then I will do it with in reason.

That is the exact coaching philosophy that drives me crazy. You bench a kid because he isn't motivated, isn't playing well, is taking stupid penalties. What exactly is your role on the team again ????

At what point might you try to actually coach the kids up a little? A kid plays bad you bench him...ever thought about trying to either motivate him or how about settle him down because he gets too fired up? Have you ever told a kid that is play horribly to completely simplify his game for the next 2 shifts until he finds his game?

Show me a coach that sits someone who is playing bad and I'll show you a coach that is over his head.

1st offense: "Johnny, when you hit another kid with your stick, that's slashing. Keep your stick down, okay?"

2nd offense: "Johnny, hitting another kid in the back of the legs with your stick isn't okay. Yes, you did keep your stick down that time, but you need to hit the puck, not the other player."

3rd offense: "Where's Pens4 when I need him. I'm clearly over my head cause I want to bench this kid for a shift."

Could be the answer lies somewhere in between.

I'd probably sit little Johnny for a shift as an attention-getter, and I would damn sure also try to correct the problem before the next shift with my Mike Babcock like coaching skills.

[Exnorthstar]

Can we be realistic for just one moment?

Most AAA teams were not created for your son's development. They say they are, that's how they hook you. The fact is they need your son for the team or program to exist, but they may not need to play your son for the team or program to thrive. And make no bones about it - AAA teams need to thrive or they die on the vine very, very quickly.

Here is a question to ponder:
How many elite players would sign up for the Blades or Machine if they took 5th, 6th or 7th in every tournament they played in?

There is no better recruiting tool in AAA hockey than wins. Marquis tournament wins are even better (Brick, Prospects, etc...). Programs must post wins to attract kids, at least the top level kids.

You will find as you travel up through the ranks of AAA hockey that not even every parent cares about the development. They say they do because it's fashionable to say that. It's what they are supposed to say out loud, society dictates it. However, deep down inside, at those corner tables in the tournament hotel bars, parents want to win as bad as the coaches. They demonstrate it every time when they open their mouths and say, "Why do they have that kid out there in that situation?" or "I can't beleive we didn't beat that team 10-0!" or "The coach shortened the bench way too late!" These conversation happen at every level, mites on up. But I agree, probably wane into the bantam years when parents become more realistic about their own son's place in the hockey world.

So for those of you parents who didn't get what you were promised or wanted, I applaud you for leaving.

I will leave you with this:
When I attended my very first AAA hcokey meeting about 5 or 6 years ago, the coach addressed the potential group of parents. I say potential because it was a tryout. Kids were on the ice, parents were jammed into a stuffy meeting room at an old hockey rink. The coach covered many topics that evening, most of it marketing a self promotion, but one piece of dialouge has stuck with me ever since.

He said (I'm paraphrasing):
There is no loyalty in AAA hockey everyone. We are here to complete at the highest level. If your son makes it, don't feel you have to be loyal to this program for the next 6 years because I guarentee if your son makes this team and we find later he can't perform at this level, I won't be loyal to him! It is every man for himself.

Very well stated. Exactly why we are done with Invite level AAA. Much too ruthless. For us inexperienced AAA parents learned this too little too late. Invite is obviously for the elite players and knowledgeable parents. There should be a seminar on what to expect for this level!! Oh well...what's done is done. Now we know who to stay far away from!

[Pens4]

Unbelievable. Some of you are so quick to jump to conclusions. You call people idiots, over your head etc with out having a damn clue about any of the circumstances. The original post I responded to said under any circumstances! Maybe benched was the wrong word. I have "sat" kids for not working hard. This doesn't mean after one or two shifts without consult, no this is over a period of time in a game when nothing else seems to work. Guess what, missing a shift does help!
Don't ever accuse me of not coaching the kids! I am determined to get every last bit out of each and every child. I have years of coaching experience and take real offence to your unfounded accusations!
SOme poeple only read on here what they want to read! Instead of automatically assuming the worst, why not try and expand on the thoughts and discuss rather than jump all over people.
For the record I have shortened my bench for only roughly 5 minutes total out of 35 games this spring. I have sat a kid for not putting forward the proper effort, for too many stupid selfish penalties and for a real bad attitude. This is used as a last resort.
For the record, I do go to tournaments and we coach to win and have fun. Why the hell else do we go to a tournament? If we have some blow out games, guess what, the weaker players get alot more ice time then the better players.
Let me ask you "equal ice time supporters at all times" people this question. Do you believe in power play units or penalty killing units? In a 5 on 3 situation against you do you believe in rolling through the kids or do you get somewhat selective?

Great....35 GAMES....your coaching squirts or 10U....I don't jump to conclusions. And yes I do play the next up for PP or PK.

What do you think summer hockey is for ???

[CoachMan]

Unbelievable. Some of you are so quick to jump to conclusions. You call people idiots, over your head etc with out having a damn clue about any of the circumstances. The original post I responded to said under any circumstances! Maybe benched was the wrong word. I have "sat" kids for not working hard. This doesn't mean after one or two shifts without consult, no this is over a period of time in a game when nothing else seems to work. Guess what, missing a shift does help!
Don't ever accuse me of not coaching the kids! I am determined to get every last bit out of each and every child. I have years of coaching experience and take real offence to your unfounded accusations!
SOme poeple only read on here what they want to read! Instead of automatically assuming the worst, why not try and expand on the thoughts and discuss rather than jump all over people.
For the record I have shortened my bench for only roughly 5 minutes total out of 35 games this spring. I have sat a kid for not putting forward the proper effort, for too many stupid selfish penalties and for a real bad attitude. This is used as a last resort.
For the record, I do go to tournaments and we coach to win and have fun. Why the hell else do we go to a tournament? If we have some blow out games, guess what, the weaker players get alot more ice time then the better players.
Let me ask you "equal ice time supporters at all times" people this question. Do you believe in power play units or penalty killing units? In a 5 on 3 situation against you do you believe in rolling through the kids or do you get somewhat selective?

Great....35 GAMES....your coaching squirts or 10U....I don't jump to conclusions. And yes I do play the next up for PP or PK.

What do you think summer hockey is for ???

As do I. Now how a bout a 5 on 3 against? Wait, do you coach? if not then I guess it doesn't matter.
Do you pull your goalie? WHo do you send out if you do?

[Pens4]

I hear what your saying Coachman but do you remember it is summer hockey and your not playing Boston college for the Bean Pot championship. If you told those parents that you were going to develope their kids hockey IQ, their ability to play in different situations, their growth in high pressure siutuations, then why are they not on the ice in those situations.

If you told the parents that I am going to do everything possible to win tournaments and that includes your kid sitting when not contributing...they went into it eye's wide open. Go get em' Bowman

[CoachMan]

I hear what your saying Coachman but do you remember it is summer hockey and your not playing Boston college for the Bean Pot championship. If you told those parents that you were going to develope their kids hockey IQ, their ability to play in different situations, their growth in high pressure siutuations, then why are they not on the ice in those situations.

If you told the parents that I am going to do everything possible to win tournaments and that includes your kid sitting when not contributing...they went into it eye's wide open. Go get em' Bowman

Can't make a point with out name calling? When you are coaching in a game situation you are tyring to do what is best for the whole team. Sometimes a shortened bench at a specific point in a game can make the difference if you team plays more hockey or not.
I am very clear with my parents before the start of the season and I have an open door policy. My parents know exactly what I expect of their kids and they are on board. I have had many parents come up to me and tell me to sit their kid if I have too. Every teams situation is different and not every team is for every kid or parent. I am open about how I operate my team in varying situations.
ONe more question for you Pens, what if your goaltender has allowed some very poor goals yet its his turn to play. Do you pull him in favour of the other goaltender (essentially you are sitting him because of his poor play) or do you let him suffer in net and hurt the rest of the team?
Its pretty easy to jump all over the coaches for some decisions they make but the coaches have a tough job to do. They have to do whats best for every kid, not just one!

[Pens4]

I know it's never as cut n' dry as it sound in these post but let me share this one thought with you. You will have parents come to you and say to be hard on their kids and sit them if needed...you will parents that complain that you need to shorten the bench to win. You will have parents that say nothing b/c they are completely intimidated to say a word....And it doesn't make a bit of difference what your resume is...they are parents and the vision is typically tunnell.

You are the only advocate for the kids and your ability to create hockey moments for them at these tournaments (in spite of all the psuedo-pressure that the parents feel) is all that matters. Managing that situation is not easy but as I said before...Make it through the peewee years and they will be fine.

[observer]

Who has played 35 games since March 15?

[dumbpuck]

There is in many different parts of the country 2 styles of sports- competitive and leisure.

THere should be teams where everyone plays equal and in my mind there should be teams that play to win.

In summer hockey we have the choice to play for any team that will take our kid.

I want my kid coached by Coachman - I want the bench shortened and I want to win. What is fun??? winning is fun. Now dont jump me on that - I am sure Coachman doesnt shorten bench in first period- but last 2 shift in tied game - lets do it!

Watch a game at any level- winning is fun. WHen the kids are dogpiling at the end of the game - I dont think they are too concerned about missing the last shift- because coach put johnny out there. I think us parents watch-time -and monitor shifts to much.

To end- I think we need both competitive and leisure teams and tournaments- we are all different and always will be.

[hockey_is_a_choice]

Coachman,

You swore more in a single post than any other poster on this Board. This is a YOUTH hockey forum. There are young lads who visit this Board and you aren't exactly a great role model. I hope you don't use this language on the bench or in the locker room, especially if you're coaching young boys.

As for your statement that you will put your coaching resume up against whomever, please come off of your high horse. I readily admit I never played hockey, but I have plenty of intellectual horsepower and have studied the game and the people who are attracted to this sport. Further, I have spent plenty of time and tens of thousands of dollars observing coaches (nationally and internationally) work with my boys over the last 15 years. I know a good coach when I see him and I can spot a bad coach after a few exchanges with players and parents.


I take offense to coaches who claim to know it all because they played high school or college hockey. Yipee! I earned As in high school AP and college physics, but that doesn't mean I can successfully teach high school AP or college physics.

Here's some unsolicited advice: I, as a parent, will determine whether I respect you as a coach and as a person. You cannot demand my respect, you have to earn it. Telling me that you are a "know it all" and that I "don't get it" will mean that I will dismiss you as another goon hockey coach who took one too many elbows to the head while playing the game.

Relax, this is kids' hockey. Yes, you can have a penalty kill and a power play, but, if you're coaching at the Squirt level, I hope you're cycling kids through the PK and the PP. If you're not, you're not doing your job. When your regular PK or PP kids aren't available, other kids need to participate in the PK or PP. They won't be ready unless they are practicing the PK or PP, too.Further, you can shorten the bench in the last couple minutes of a game, but keep in mind that last game's top line may not be the best line to put on the ice in the final minutes of the current game. One of the many things I have observed from the cheap seats in the past 15 years is kids develop at different times and consistent play is rare among young players.


My hat is off to you for being up front with your parents out of the gates. I wish every coach would be honest with parents and set the ground rules from the start. Since this is a thread about AAA programs, summer coaches--this approach should be adopted by you before mom and dad sign the checks. Be honest with every parent. Tell every parent what your expectations are before they sign the checks. Then, stay true to what you told the parents. If you're unhappy with Timmy's play, reach out to his parents and talk to them about your concerns. Come with suggestions that Timmy's parents can consider implementing to help Timmy get back on track. Timmy's parents are paying a lot of money for their son to play summer hockey and they are telling other people about you and your program. Protect your reputation--it will make or break you and your program.

As for discipline, I don't have a problem with coaches who reasonably discipline their players, as long as the rules are the same for everyone, including the coaches' kids. Coachman, if you are a Squirt coach, keep in mind the boys will grow up quickly. The lessons you teach them today could be important life lessons. On the other hand, you might be one of the many adults who pass through a kid's life who does more harm than good. I hope you're the former and not the latter type of coach.

Oh, and one last bit of unsolicited advice: lose the moniker. "CoachMAN", really?

[CoachMan]

Coachman,

You swore more in a single post than any other poster on this Board. This is a YOUTH hockey forum. There are young lads who visit this Board and you aren't exactly a great role model. I hope you don't use this language on the bench or in the locker room, especially if you're coaching young boys.

As for your statement that you will put your coaching resume up against whomever, please come off of your high horse. I readily admit I never played hockey, but I have plenty of intellectual horsepower and have studied the game and the people who are attracted to this sport. Further, I have spent plenty of time and tens of thousands of dollars observing coaches (nationally and internationally) work with my boys over the last 15 years. I know a good coach when I see him and I can spot a bad coach after a few exchanges with players and parents.


I take offense to coaches who claim to know it all because they played high school or college hockey. Yipee! I earned As in high school AP and college physics, but that doesn't mean I can successfully teach high school AP or college physics.

Here's some unsolicited advice: I, as a parent, will determine whether I respect you as a coach and as a person. You cannot demand my respect, you have to earn it. Telling me that you are a "know it all" and that I "don't get it" will mean that I will dismiss you as another goon hockey coach who took one too many elbows to the head while playing the game.

Relax, this is kids' hockey. Yes, you can have a penalty kill and a power play, but, if you're coaching at the Squirt level, I hope you're cycling kids through the PK and the PP. If you're not, you're not doing your job. When your regular PK or PP kids aren't available, other kids need to participate in the PK or PP. They won't be ready unless they are practicing the PK or PP, too.Further, you can shorten the bench in the last couple minutes of a game, but keep in mind that last game's top line may not be the best line to put on the ice in the final minutes of the current game. One of the many things I have observed from the cheap seats in the past 15 years is kids develop at different times and consistent play is rare among young players.


My hat is off to you for being up front with your parents out of the gates. I wish every coach would be honest with parents and set the ground rules from the start. Since this is a thread about AAA programs, summer coaches--this approach should be adopted by you before mom and dad sign the checks. Be honest with every parent. Tell every parent what your expectations are before they sign the checks. Then, stay true to what you told the parents. If you're unhappy with Timmy's play, reach out to his parents and talk to them about your concerns. Come with suggestions that Timmy's parents can consider implementing to help Timmy get back on track. Timmy's parents are paying a lot of money for their son to play summer hockey and they are telling other people about you and your program. Protect your reputation--it will make or break you and your program.

As for discipline, I don't have a problem with coaches who reasonably discipline their players, as long as the rules are the same for everyone, including the coaches' kids. Coachman, if you are a Squirt coach, keep in mind the boys will grow up quickly. The lessons you teach them today could be important life lessons. On the other hand, you might be one of the many adults who pass through a kid's life who does more harm than good. I hope you're the former and not the latter type of coach.

Oh, and one last bit of unsolicited advice: lose the moniker. "CoachMAN", really?

I don't recall saying that. That is the problem I have with some posters on this board. Everything gets taken out of context and taken in a NEGATIVE way. I did say I have many years of coaching experience. Am I the best coach, I am sure I am not but I do try and be as fair and respectful a coach as I can be. I am a person who cares what others think. I chose the moniker CoachMan because I am not afraid to admit that I am a coach. Coaches on this board get blasted all the time by people hiding behind their usernames. I am just trying to be up front. I do not think I am someone I am not. I totally agree that just because you played at a high level of hockey means that you know everything. Alot of it is how you convey your knowledge of the game. YOu don't just get knowledge of hockey from playing the game, yes it does help.
Forgive me for wanting to stick up for myself and other coaches. Alot of people think its pretty darn easy to coach from the stands but yet very few will put their necks on the line and coach at this level. Do you have to be someone special to coach at this level, absolutely not. HOwever you have one heck of a lot more egos to manage......both kids and parents. That is the hardest part. Everyone has a different belief in how teams should be run. Like on poster said, don't be loyal to anyone program because the program may not always be loyal to you. Unfortunately that is the harsh reality of summer hockey. It is a business! Generally the more successful the team the more the parents and kids want to be a part of it. With in reason of course!
There are many different levels of players and many different levels of teams to choose from. Parents have to make the best choice for their child and teams have to make the best choice for their teams. Hopefully everyone is up front with each other at the beginning so each one knows what they are getting into.
My apologies for the profound language. I was a little taken aback.

[getoveryourbadself]

I hear what your saying Coachman but do you remember it is summer hockey and your not playing Boston college for the Bean Pot championship. If you told those parents that you were going to develope their kids hockey IQ, their ability to play in different situations, their growth in high pressure siutuations, then why are they not on the ice in those situations.

If you told the parents that I am going to do everything possible to win tournaments and that includes your kid sitting when not contributing...they went into it eye's wide open. Go get em' Bowman

Can't make a point with out name calling? When you are coaching in a game situation you are tyring to do what is best for the whole team. Sometimes a shortened bench at a specific point in a game can make the difference if you team plays more hockey or not.
I am very clear with my parents before the start of the season and I have an open door policy. My parents know exactly what I expect of their kids and they are on board. I have had many parents come up to me and tell me to sit their kid if I have too. Every teams situation is different and not every team is for every kid or parent. I am open about how I operate my team in varying situations.
ONe more question for you Pens, what if your goaltender has allowed some very poor goals yet its his turn to play. Do you pull him in favour of the other goaltender (essentially you are sitting him because of his poor play) or do you let him suffer in net and hurt the rest of the team?
Its pretty easy to jump all over the coaches for some decisions they make but the coaches have a tough job to do. They have to do whats best for every kid, not just one!

With regards to the goalie.....don't take 2 if you think you only need one. Or be a stand up guy.....give a refund to the parents of the goalie you keep sitting on the bench to keep from "suffering in the net".

[Exnorthstar]

Coachman,

You swore more in a single post than any other poster on this Board. This is a YOUTH hockey forum. There are young lads who visit this Board and you aren't exactly a great role model. I hope you don't use this language on the bench or in the locker room, especially if you're coaching young boys.

As for your statement that you will put your coaching resume up against whomever, please come off of your high horse. I readily admit I never played hockey, but I have plenty of intellectual horsepower and have studied the game and the people who are attracted to this sport. Further, I have spent plenty of time and tens of thousands of dollars observing coaches (nationally and internationally) work with my boys over the last 15 years. I know a good coach when I see him and I can spot a bad coach after a few exchanges with players and parents.


I take offense to coaches who claim to know it all because they played high school or college hockey. Yipee! I earned As in high school AP and college physics, but that doesn't mean I can successfully teach high school AP or college physics.

Here's some unsolicited advice: I, as a parent, will determine whether I respect you as a coach and as a person. You cannot demand my respect, you have to earn it. Telling me that you are a "know it all" and that I "don't get it" will mean that I will dismiss you as another goon hockey coach who took one too many elbows to the head while playing the game.

Relax, this is kids' hockey. Yes, you can have a penalty kill and a power play, but, if you're coaching at the Squirt level, I hope you're cycling kids through the PK and the PP. If you're not, you're not doing your job. When your regular PK or PP kids aren't available, other kids need to participate in the PK or PP. They won't be ready unless they are practicing the PK or PP, too.Further, you can shorten the bench in the last couple minutes of a game, but keep in mind that last game's top line may not be the best line to put on the ice in the final minutes of the current game. One of the many things I have observed from the cheap seats in the past 15 years is kids develop at different times and consistent play is rare among young players.


My hat is off to you for being up front with your parents out of the gates. I wish every coach would be honest with parents and set the ground rules from the start. Since this is a thread about AAA programs, summer coaches--this approach should be adopted by you before mom and dad sign the checks. Be honest with every parent. Tell every parent what your expectations are before they sign the checks. Then, stay true to what you told the parents. If you're unhappy with Timmy's play, reach out to his parents and talk to them about your concerns. Come with suggestions that Timmy's parents can consider implementing to help Timmy get back on track. Timmy's parents are paying a lot of money for their son to play summer hockey and they are telling other people about you and your program. Protect your reputation--it will make or break you and your program.

As for discipline, I don't have a problem with coaches who reasonably discipline their players, as long as the rules are the same for everyone, including the coaches' kids. Coachman, if you are a Squirt coach, keep in mind the boys will grow up quickly. The lessons you teach them today could be important life lessons. On the other hand, you might be one of the many adults who pass through a kid's life who does more harm than good. I hope you're the former and not the latter type of coach.

Oh, and one last bit of unsolicited advice: lose the moniker. "CoachMAN", really?

I like what you said. It is up to us parents to choose who we want and who we respect. Its completely unacceptable for a coach to ignore upset or questioning parents. If you sign up to coach, then you do HAVE to deal with personalities and kids and egos and anger. It comes with the territory. If a coach cannot take it, like the one we dealt with, then they have NO BUSINESS COACHING! I don't care who they are. A coach should be a leader. Responsible, professional and mature. You don't need a degree or have a pro hockey career to have those qualities. This coach had NONE of those.

[CoachMan]

I hear what your saying Coachman but do you remember it is summer hockey and your not playing Boston college for the Bean Pot championship. If you told those parents that you were going to develope their kids hockey IQ, their ability to play in different situations, their growth in high pressure siutuations, then why are they not on the ice in those situations.

If you told the parents that I am going to do everything possible to win tournaments and that includes your kid sitting when not contributing...they went into it eye's wide open. Go get em' Bowman

Can't make a point with out name calling? When you are coaching in a game situation you are tyring to do what is best for the whole team. Sometimes a shortened bench at a specific point in a game can make the difference if you team plays more hockey or not.
I am very clear with my parents before the start of the season and I have an open door policy. My parents know exactly what I expect of their kids and they are on board. I have had many parents come up to me and tell me to sit their kid if I have too. Every teams situation is different and not every team is for every kid or parent. I am open about how I operate my team in varying situations.
ONe more question for you Pens, what if your goaltender has allowed some very poor goals yet its his turn to play. Do you pull him in favour of the other goaltender (essentially you are sitting him because of his poor play) or do you let him suffer in net and hurt the rest of the team?
Its pretty easy to jump all over the coaches for some decisions they make but the coaches have a tough job to do. They have to do whats best for every kid, not just one!

With regards to the goalie.....don't take 2 if you think you only need one. Or be a stand up guy.....give a refund to the parents of the goalie you keep sitting on the bench to keep from "suffering in the net".

The beauty of forums. Its easy to be misunderstood. I meant if you are carrying 2 goaltenders and your starting goalie is haveing an off game. Do you leave him in while he struggles terribly or do you pull him in favour of the second goalie.

[CoachMan]

I like what you said. It is up to us parents to choose who we want and who we respect. Its completely unacceptable for a coach to ignore upset or questioning parents. If you sign up to coach, then you do HAVE to deal with personalities and kids and egos and anger. It comes with the territory. If a coach cannot take it, like the one we dealt with, then they have NO BUSINESS COACHING! I don't care who they are. A coach should be a leader. Responsible, professional and mature. You don't need a degree or have a pro hockey career to have those qualities. This coach had NONE of those.

I do agree. Coaches need to be approachable and accountable.

[nahc]

Our son had a GREAT time with AAA hockey. Our association hockey was absolutely terrible the last 5 years or so..........coaches were only interested in their own kids development, not very good coaches to begin with, etc.......my son learned more in the first weeks of AAA hockey then a whole year of association hockey........association hockey has been bleak..........

[HockeyDad41]

I think we are not coming back next year.

[dogeatdog1]

I think we are not coming back next year.

Where will Jr play? what year is he? I might have a team or two looking for kids....

[HockeyDad41]

I think we are not coming back next year.

Where will Jr play? what year is he? I might have a team or two looking for kids....

Well, at minimum we're hoping to find a program that knows the difference between an invite level and an open level tournament.

[DMom]

When I look at the list of 98 teams playing in the Caribou Cup (which it is good to see the success of this tournament) I have to wonder if there are really that many coaches available. Coaches who can actually develop the kids. Than I have to think of the skilled instructors who have been canceling skating camps. They have to, their core group are spending 2,000$ on summer hockey teams and have nothing left to spend on skills camps.

District 2 is offering a fabulous Bantam Camp with great instructors with decades of hockey experience, and it didn't fill on the first day??? http://www.d2hockey.org/page/show/10103 ... t-2-events
There's something wrong here when instructors of this caliber are passed over by local families. And I am not as confident as others that lots of summer ice is good, the quality of instruction can give much more improvement than 200 hours of ice with sub-par instruction.